coming out of my shell

coming out of my shell

Thursday, December 3, 2015

Seeing and Not Seeing


I love Christmas. I love everything about it except for the rampant materialism. I DO like giving and receiving presents, though. I am not the kind of person who is against giving Christmas presents. I am absolutely, 100% FOR presents.  What I am against is wanton excess - unless, of course, it is displayed on the front of your house for the world to see.

Most of our neighbors started putting up the outside Christmas decorations the weekend after Thanksgiving. I really want to bitch and moan in a self-righteous, disapproving way about how early they get their Christmas on; I certainly feel cranky about that issue. But I think not. Not this time, anyway. I get tired of being self-righteous and judgmental. Today I am going to take a break.

In fact, I love seeing normal, everyday people decorating their houses. We could all benefit from using our imaginations occasionally. I am encouraged when the Average Joe is inspired to spend a few precious hours on his/her day off decorating the house. I think of outside Christmas decorations as legitimate folk art.

I have this wacky idea that most people have a need to express themselves creatively. I first experienced the "public display variety" of self-expression when I was a child, back in the 1950’s. On June 14 (Flag Day) all us neighbor kids would take rolls of red, white, and blue crepe paper and decorate our bikes. I lived in one of those post-WWII housing developments where all the parents were the same age and each house was filled with rambunctious baby booming children. My friends and I would then get on our fabulous patriotic bikes and parade our handiwork around the block in a proud and colorful parade. We were so freakin' cute!

When my mother was in the assisted living home each resident decorated the outside of her or his door with signs, dried flowers, wreaths, and more. Each door was different and decorations changed with the seasons.

The residents clearly wanted us to see their doors. But you know, there is a little bit of Miss Havisham in all of us as we age. At first glance those doors seemed super damn creepy to me! I have an overactive imagination. Crocheted Santas seemed to be staring blankly into my eyes as if trying to steal my soul. Wildly perky dancing reindeer invited me to come hither. And that was just at Christmas. At Easter there were ratty birds nests affixed to some doors. Crazy felt and wire birds challenged me to look deep into their googly eyes. And the signs said things like, "Come In!"

Honestly, it was hard not to look the other way and not see them at all. I made a sincere effort to fight that urge. I could easily have looked at each door with a critical eye and been put off because I was not really looking at the doors with a mind to see them. I was blinded by my fear of aging, my fear of sickness and of death.

What a coward I was. I was only visiting that place. Those old folks were living their final days and facing those fears head on. They were trying to let their light shine in the Valley of the Shadow of Death. The least I could do was look at their parade of handiwork.

I tried to enjoy those doors and really "see" what the residents were showing me, because in a real and tangible way they were presenting me with a gift. Being judgmental is unseemly at best. In the context of receiving a gift it is always bad manners.

I was an art student back in the day. I had a professor who tried to teach us there is no such thing as bad art, there is only art you do not understand. He was trying to introduce us to abstraction at the time. Making us rethink our perceptions was a helpful exercise in that context. It challenged us to take a deeper look and get beyond our knee-jerk expectations of what art is "supposed" to be. I am not sure if he was right about there being no bad art, but I liked the sound of it. I still do.

His concept freed me from some youthful conceits and those stubborn literary hang-ups that were keeping me from really "seeing" the purely visual. Art doesn't have to tell a story. It is more than simply illustration. It can stand alone, without context. Once I surrendered to the visual I suddenly started seeing art everywhere. And I was drug free, dammit! Well, most of the time. :)

So…I like nothing better than driving through our usually homogeneous subdivision streets during this time of the year, oohing and aahhing my way down each block. I silently thank each householder for taking the time to entertain me, for wowing me, for strutting their creative stuff.  

Everyone does it differently. Some houses are garish, some are beautiful.
Most of these houses shine in living color, others are resplendent in snowy white. A few VERY special ones are ridiculously over-the-top and I would drive ten miles to see one of those - with or without my grandchildren.

Standards and good taste be damned! You may not decorate as I do, but if you choose to decorate your house (or your door...) for the holidays you simply cannot do it wrong in my book. I approve! Go wild! Because if not now, when?"
Not the least bit creepy, right?






10 comments:

  1. I just came from delivering groceries to a woman in an assisted living facility. Almost every door was decorated and I was thinking about what a Scrooge I was becoming because I was complaining about how many boxes of decorations I had to lug down from the attic and these elderly folks were still making an effort.

    Lesson learned.

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    1. Thank you for reading and "getting" this post. It is truly from my heart.

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  2. OMG, what a fun post! Yeah, I see Christmas in just about the same way, I LOVE the lights. I think it would be good if they were kept up all year. I know I would get tired of them...but still, so pretty and cheerful.

    I agree about the materialism and the excess in presents. I think, keep it simple. What I enjoy most is just the dedicated time set aside at Christmas to share a meal, a conversation over too sugary Christmas cookies and strong coffee - a fire would be great too. I used to have one at the house I left behind and the fire was the essence of Christmas cheer - in the dark at night when the lights sparkled outside.

    When I was a kid there was a street in our neighborhood called Candy Cane Lane. It was WAY over the top with lights and decorations and the annual slow, slow drive down and around and then back again was heaven.
    Look what you've done...made me all soppy nostalgic for that time of year...which is almost this time of year.

    And the whole time my Mom was in the assisted living place, I had the same feelings about the doors, it must just be a universal thing. But I wish I could have come to the same conclusions that you did. Ah well, I know better now.

    I could go on and on, I mean really! But that's enough. I'm going to look for my old 50's "Shinny Brights" - those authentic old Christmas decorations for the tree that were far, far better than anything you can get now.
    Thanks, Collete, I thoroughly enjoyed that.

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    1. Let's make a pact to never grow up, OK? I'll meet you in Candy Cane Lane. And please, go on and on. I would love that.

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  3. There is (or was) a house in Crown Point that was a must-visit from all in Lake County. It was simply known as "Gards"....b/c, as I learned later in life, is the last name of the owners. You can ask any of my aunts & uncles about Gards! Growing up, this was a tradition for me, my parents and Ryan. We would go in our PJs and you waited in a long line of cars for your turn to drive oh-so-slowly past the display, resplendent with music. It is magical! It was hard for me to see Christmas decorations at homes in Florida...so incongruous. I will be among it again this year, as you know! I am going to take a "closer" look, but without any judgment. I miss having a home to decorate outside: lights, bells, garland, bows...but not in a garish sort of way!! Happiest of Holidays to you & T!

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    1. I am a fan of garish. I took little N out for a late drive last night as I was babysitting to look at the lights. He loved it. I hope you and C have a great holiday. If you can make it our way while you are in Florida our dinner offer still stands. Our house is the one with flashing lights.

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  4. What a Great and thought provoking Post. I am a very Visual person with a preference for personal expression that shows an essence of each individual... and so I appreciate garish more than I would the homogeneous. It was a big leap for me to decide to Move from my OOAK Historic Home which was quite Unique and buy in a Subdivision... where my Home would be somewhat like similar floorplan Models in the Area... my fear would be to become very Stepford Wife Like! *Ha ha ha* Much scarier to me than the Nursing Home Door Aging thing... LOL... growing Old is a privilege not afforded to many and yet becoming a Clone of everyone else to me would be absolutely Terrifying!!! *Winks* I'm glad you suppressed your knee jerk reaction to 'See' and just Experience what others are willing to Share... it is indeed a Gift! Merry Christmas... Dawn... The Bohemian

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    1. Many thanks. And yes - I also moved from an old, private, unique house to a subdivision in recent years. It has been quite the struggle. But never fear, I am quite certain a Stepford Wife is something some of us can never be.

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  5. Another wonderful entry. I too enjoy all the holiday lights. But I don't like all the newish blow up characters. Something inside me says -- all this stuff is going to end up in the landfill. Scrooge lurks somewhere.

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    1. Good to hear from you A! There IS something about the blow up holiday lawn characters that seems haphazard and appears to involve very little creative effort. Little kids love them, though. But good point about them ending up in the landfill. Still, I must confess I like those tall, thin, wavelike things that blow back and forth for our amusement outside of car dealerships...they are insane. They cheer me up. Come on, admit it - you like those, right?

      Is that an amaryllis in your profile photo? People plant them in the ground around their houses down here. They are beautiful in early spring (which is mid-winter in your world).

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So, whadayathink?