coming out of my shell

coming out of my shell

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

That Damn Gingerbread House

OMG! (loud and breathless, like a teenage girl) I had the all-time worst experience making a gingerbread house with my grandson.

I received a text from daughter, M, saying little N wanted to build a gingerbread house. M, a wise and subtle mother, replied "That sounds like a Grandma thing." She texted me with the good news. Taking a deep breath, I ordered a kit. I hoped it would arrive broken beyond repair. But no, apparently I was one of the lucky few who received a kit with all pieces intact. I took that as an omen.


I picked N up from school yesterday. We began to build the cursed thing. Grandpa helped. That meant Grandpa and I (both ex-managers) embarked on an epic power struggle to get the damn thing to hold together. Initially this involved frosting, but later degenerated into heat guns, glue, and holding that sucker together for an interminably long time. Nails were considered. All while N jumped in his seat talking non-stop.

We used up the kit-provided frosting trying (and failing) to get the damn house to stick together. I made more. N (aka, my shadow) insisted we divide it up into four small bowls so he could use all 4 types of food coloring. He already had the food coloring out of the pantry. Then we returned to the construction zone where T had given up on the blasted house. It was my turn. I used Elmer's glue (and plenty of it) to stick that sucker back together.

As I held it together hoping for the glue to dry, N dumped about half the candy decorations in two of the frostings. He is lightening fast. I guess in his 5 year-old mind he imagined he could frost the roof with the candy infused glop and the candy would stick out. A genius, thinking outside the box! But he had not considered they would just be buried in the frosting. I was holding it all together and couldn't stop him, although I yelled really, really loud. We really have to get that kid's hearing checked. Not sure WHY he didn't hear me.

Finally the roof stayed on! He decorated. Alas, as we stood to look at his handiwork, one side of the roof slipped off in slow motion. He lost interest and went inside. There was no way I could stop. I re-glued the hateful roof and propped up each side with boxes to keep them in place. Two hours later N's father, MV, came to get him. I  took the boxes away from the sides of the roof. It held! N was delighted. I'm pretty sure he thought I was a miracle worker. I was happy, although my blood pressure was rather high.


After they left I took the following pictures:


Not the best gingerbread house you've ever seen, but dammit! it was a house. At last I could relax.  Unfortunately, gravity rules supreme. Here's how it looked this morning:
I surrender. 

28 comments:

  1. Hahahaha! Oh Lordy I can picture the whole event. You are such a good grandma.

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  2. I can't stop laughing. Good thing I wasn't there or you would have strangled me. I got a gingerbread house for my 6th birthday cake. Mom never made another, the only cake she never repeated.

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    1. Oh Chilly, you would have loved it. I kept trying to get T and N to use Elmer's glue in the first place but they refused. Niko wanted to EAT the cake later - that was how he envisioned the purpose. He kept saying to me, "no glue, Grandma. You think this is ART! It's not art. I want to eat it."

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  3. That is one of the times that i am happy to be a jewish grand mother...

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  4. Those kits are horrible. Two years ago I took gingerbread men over to my step daughter's and her two step sons and her daughter decorated the gingerbread men. No holding required and the kids had a great time.

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    1. Next year gingerbread men!!! I even have a cookie cutter.

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  5. My only exposure to these structures was several years ago. I was told to admire one my then eight year old granddaughter built, All By Herself. My two year older grandson never fell into the trap.

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    1. I noticed they sell a gingerbread locomotive kit. I will not buy it.

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  6. This is a new virtual experience for me. I had no idea about gingerbread houses. Oy.

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  7. It is (was) a perfectly wonderful house. You should all be proud.

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  8. I bought the one that is already put together. It was still a bloody mess. I'm not sure how or why that became an tradition. It seems like people would have just given up on it.

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    1. It wasn't fun. I think buying one already together might be the way to go, though.

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  9. We women must try everything once. I am proud of you!

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  10. I made a gingerbread house in foods class in grade 10. Never, ever again. My culinary skills leave a lot to be desired.
    But, your post made me laugh loudly then have an asthma attack. The gingerbread house could have been prefect but this one will be remembered always. Love it!

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    1. Oooh, you actually made the gingerbread component parts? Wow. I salute you. I'm happy you enjoyed this, but I'm sorry I gave you an asthma attack.

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  11. Ha! You are the best of grandmother's. You let him get his hands right into the whole mix of it all. He'll remember this one!

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    1. He's very proud of it. Grandpa nailed the roof to the sides after I wrote this post, so it is once again an intact house.

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  12. Fantastic share. Wonderful time spent with your grandson. I love it!

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  13. Oh I was laughing in that 'been there, done that' sort of way. And then this popped into my feed

    https://skillet.lifehacker.com/build-your-gingerbread-house-using-marshmallow-treats-f-1821397762

    could be helpful for next year

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  14. The expression on the tortoise's face is not consonant with the present season.

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    1. Are you sure? I think he looks a bit like the Alastair Sim version of Ebenezer Scrooge. Nothing says Christmas like Scrooge!

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So, whadayathink?