coming out of my shell

coming out of my shell

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

On passing for normal

I'm going to a family wedding this weekend. I got my haircut so I could pass as normal. Aaack, the pressure to conform. How I hate it. 

My hair has been rather long for awhile - way longer than I should probably wear it. However, I don't like going to the hairstylist. For me it is akin to going to the dentist, just another thing I must endure from time to time.

The last time I got my hair cut was September 2017. You can imagine how long my hair was this morning, before it all came off.  Long enough to pull back in a ponytail, or messy bun.  I like the idea of older women having long hair and pulling it back. I have seen many women of a certain age looking lovely, elegant and artsy with long gray hair. I love that look. Unfortunately, I can't seem to pull it off.  If I grew a few inches taller and lost a half a million pounds (or got my neck "done") it might work.  But that just doesn't seem to happen.   

I don't have another wedding to go to until December. That means I don't have to get my hair cut again until the end of November.  Yay.




32 comments:

  1. This morning I made an appointment to get my haircut. I can’t pull off long hair either but I wish I could. I end up looking frumpy. It is so thick it grows up and out.

    Your hair is lovely. I love the curl. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with your neck. It’s just one more thing we as women have been told to change because there is something wrong with it. Men don’t think about this kind of shit. I have thought about it over and over and have yet to think about one part of our body that society has not given the message that it shouldn’t look the way it does and we have to do something to change it. I am not kidding. Can you think of one? Women even get their assholes bleached.

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    1. Well, if you put it THAT way. lol Didn't know that last part. Horrified.

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  2. Your new cut looks wonderful. I love it. You are lucky to have a curl to your hair. I had hair down my back until a few years back until I just couldn't take it anymore. I don't have nice hair. Have a short do ever since.

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    1. It is fun - the short do. I like yours in your profile pic.

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  3. I cannot pull off ANY look, either! It has something to do with being 5'4" (on a good day), I've concluded. Absolutely no other reason!

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    1. I'm pretty sure if we had just grown taller we would have ruled the world. I'm only 5'2" I try to make up for my height with the strength of my personality. The female Napoleon.

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  4. You have beautiful wavy hair. I'm envious.

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    1. Thank you Lily. Your recent post pic inspired me to bite the bullet and go get a short cut.

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  5. It looks great! I've always wanted that long, elegant, white haired look - a lovely bun at the nape of my neck or a loosely gathered-up bunch. Alas, I get half way there and lose my mind and run screaming to my hairdresser "Cut it off! All of it!"

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  6. First you look beautiful. Second being normal is over-rated. Be your self.

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  7. I also hate going to a hairdresser. As soon as they are done and I tell them that I like it and pay them, I walk quickly out the door, into my car, go home run into my bathroom and try to fix it in a way that makes me comfortable.

    I think your hair looks very nice and what I can see of your neck looks fine also.

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    1. I do the same thing! Since I've retired and moved to Florida (where I've not found a regular hairdresser yet) I don't even let them style it. Just wash and cut. I walk out with wet hair and rush straight home.

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  8. Hello there, nice to see you. Short hair and all. A decent haircut has many advantages - in theory. We can't sll be Patti Smith or Susan Sontag or better still, Arundhati Roy.

    Enjoy this one and have a great time at the wedding.

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    1. I really want to be Patti Smith.

      Thanks, I'm sure it will be a lot of fun. I'll see my Baby Sister and my brother, Big D. They are always up for a good time.

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  9. Love you with short, long or in-between hair. Wish I had curls. Sigh.

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  10. Hello there!! Love seeing the photo of you. You look wonderful. Have a great time at the wedding.

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  11. You look just like your avatar! (Or vice versa.) And I think the short hair works, for what it's worth, but I agree that going to get a haircut is a drag. I shave my own head, which means I can just care for my own hair in the shower and never visit the barber. But I realize that's not an option for everybody. :)

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    1. I know! I was delighted when the avatar I created looked so much like me. Hilarious. I would shave my head if I could get away with it.

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  12. I like the curl in your hair! I always wanted curls but unfortunately my hair is stick straight.

    The last time I got my hair trimmed the woman kept scolding me about split ends and proper conditioning, to the point that I was extremely uncomfortable. And she wondered why it had been so long since I'd had it cut! I feel so self conscious when I'm in the chair and she made it much worse. Another time I had an overly talkative hairdresser wait until she was half done with me and then she asked if I have children. When I said no she started questioning me about why. Talk about uncomfortable! So I always avoid having my hair cut as long as possible which is why it's way too long right now!

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    1. I always wanted straight hair, ha! I like the hairdressers who just mindlessly talk about themselves. I really don't want to talk when I'm in "the chair." I also hate when people torment women about having or not having children.

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  13. What's normal? Your hair looks great, but I'm at the other end of the spectrum. My hairdresser had her salon up a very steep staircase, and I have MS and could no longer manage them. I tried other stylists, but I couldn't find one that I could be comfortable with. (Gentlemen out there may not understand, but women need faith and trust in their stylist..and not just in their ability with our hair!) Anyway, I then decided to just let my hair grow. It's silver now, and below my waist. I'm 72, so you can imagine the strange looks I get when I let it flow loose. On the other hand, I can't tell you how many people (male and female) stop me to comment on it. (no-one's been negative...yet! I'm just an old hippie, and dress that way, too. Quite frankly I think we do ourselves a great disservice when we worry about what other people think. Be yourself and apologise to no-one

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    1. Thanks, Lesley. I appreciate your comments and admit that I also wish my hair was below my waist. I'm an old hippie, too - and letting my hair go gray and long was my plan. I just wasn't happy with it. On me. I still love long, gray hair on other women. Men, too.

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  14. Your hair looks lovely. Hope the wedding was fun.

    I have very different hair but I don't like going to have it cut/done either. One of the reasons I went crew cut short years ago. And now toying with growing it out again.

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    1. Glad I'm not the only one. I really have to force myself to go.

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  15. I didn't realize there was a "normal" for people of our age. I thought that once you reached this age you could do whatever you damned felt like.

    (I do like your new "do" though)

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  16. But you didn't and that was 13 days ago. I can only conclude that you're more at ease with yourself than you let on. I've been away (ostensibly on holiday) and am glad I am able to square the way you look with the way you write. I envy you your scepticism, emphasised by the three-quarters front angle. I'd have done better as a journalist if I'd looked like that. You look as though you'd be hard to fool, disinclined to buy the Statue of Liberty. Or if you did buy it you sold it on at a good profit.

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So, whadayathink?