coming out of my shell

coming out of my shell

Tuesday, February 4, 2020

That race is run.

I recently learned two of my father's first cousins died. We weren't "close." However, we shared an interest in family history and I liked them. I hate "losing people."

They were both generous when asked genealogical questions. I received family stories and photos from each via email and snail mail. They solved a number of genealogical mysteries for me, giving me the low down on family rogues and reasons to be proud of some others.  I liked knowing they were still alive.

Ray was a double first cousin to my father. Ray's father was my paternal grandfather's brother. Ray's mother was my paternal grandmother's sister (i.e., 2 sisters married 2 brothers). He was a gentleman, kind and friendly. If curiosity and enthusiasm can be family traits, then I recognized those shared qualities in him. 


I knew Gary better.
His father was
another of my paternal grandfather's brothers. Gary was a polyglot who went to South Korea in 1964 to teach English and to study Asian languages. He never married, but he fell in love with South Korea. He stayed there for the rest of his life as a hired word-slinger, translating and editing. He had a passion for Esperanto, always hoping it could become a common language. Eventually he gave up his U.S. citizenship to become a citizen of South Korea. He said he had no axe to grind, being a citizen was just easier.

I wish we had corresponded more. There's so much more I want to know, and they were the only ones alive to tell me. I should have thanked them more profusely, and I would like to have had the opportunity to say goodbye.
Now that race is run.

Death is so freakin' permanent. 

14 comments:

  1. I wish I had asked a lot more questions. Even to Mom and Dad. I did but not enough. I'm one of the lucky ones as I have 5 siblings and 4 are older. They can often fill in the blanks but I still wish I had.

    I have my dear sweet Auntie still......this reminds me....I need to go down and ask her loads and loads of questions.

    Thanks Colette♥

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    1. Enjoy your visit with your Auntie. I only have 2 of those left. I once had 8.

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  2. My condolences. It is wonderful that your genealogical research allowed you to become closer.

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    1. They liked that I was interested in the past.

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  3. I am sorry to hear about the deaths of two of your father's first cousins. For me, too, genealogical research involves relationships with family members, closely related and distantly related. Not everyone is interested in family history. I feel tremendous gratitude to those who take an interest. We of our generation are quickly becoming the oldest living family members with information about our family history.

    A mi me encanta tu foto.

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  4. How sad that avenue has ended, the gate closed. Don't give up, though. Perhaps you can peruse any written records they left for more clues to pursue.

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    Replies
    1. In truth, we never do know what might happen next. I'm keep my eyes and ears open.

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  5. Sad news but at least you know something about them and you know of their place and fate in the family tree.
    Every time I meet the extended family, there are fewer of us and I can see my father getting more and more lonely as the oldest one.

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    1. They were a huge help to me.

      I'm sorry for your father. That must be really hard, to watch everyone pass. I'm one of the middle children in my large birth family. I've already lost two younger brothers. I have three sisters and one brother left. I don't think I'd like to be the last one standing.

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  6. I am so sorry you've endured two more Losses, it is difficult Losing people and we're at that Season of Life now where it is happening with more frequency. The Man's Family did a lot of Genealogy and I'm fascinated by how vigilant they were in gathering the Family History so thoroughly. I'm glad that they were able to pass along so much in the way of knowledge to you and other Family so that you preserve that Rich Family History.

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  7. I wish I had asked my mum more questions, or my aunt. So much of a family's history is oral. My young niece asks me questions which I like and am happy to answer. My own children never do sadly.

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    1. No one in my family seems to care as much as I do about genealogy. Some have a mild interest, but others really don't seem interested at all. I used to do this for them. Now I research for myself. If anyone in the future shows a deep interest, they can find my work easily enough.

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So, whadayathink?