coming out of my shell

coming out of my shell
Showing posts with label buying a house. Show all posts
Showing posts with label buying a house. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Happy Dance


Well, we kind of closed last Friday. We just could not take possession or legally get the keys until the title company received the signed contracts via FedEx on Monday

Point of information: no lawyers are involved in house sales/purchases in Florida. Instead, an Unholy Trinity of realtors, lenders, and title companies process all house sales/purchases.  I hate to admit it, but I think the absence of lawyers is why house purchases are so complicated down here.  Duh… There are no overpriced legal superheroes to move things along or intimidate lesser beings with their legal expertise and authority. Consequently, you end up putting your hopes and dreams in the hands of entrepreneurs, egomaniacs and bean counters. It is kind of a crap shoot. I am finding that quite a bit is different in Florida. 

There was no advance warning that we would not get the damn keys on Friday. The notary who was doing the remote closing for the title company (located hours away in Fort Lauderdale) did not even know. But one of the last documents was a form for our realtor to sign stating she would not release the damn keys to us until the title company received the “wet signatures” of the signed documents.  In realtor world “wet signature” means the original signature.  Very descriptive, I think.  I use that term all the time now because I think it is cool. Wet signatures.  “Excuse me, I need a Wet Signature over here.”

Anyway, our lovely realtor had never heard of such a thing in all the closings she had done.  We had already wire transferred our down payment to them the day before so it was not a matter of seeing the money.  The signed closing forms were scanned and emailed immediately after closing.  They had what they needed to release the damn keys. The closing took place on Friday afternoon.  The FedEx package could not arrive until Monday.  The whole weekend would be lost. No one at that table could believe that we could not have the damn keys. We thought it must be a mistake.

Our lovely realtor called to clarify and get their approval to give us the damn keys so we could get in to the house over the weekend and start cleaning. The movers were to arrive on Monday.  Unfortunately, the lady at the title company was adamant that we could not be given the damn keys until the FedEx package arrived on Monday with the Wet Signatures.  Our lovely realtor asked to talk to the manager.

Then a heartless bitch with an attitude like you would NOT believe got on the line to read us the riot act. She said she was the owner AND the president of the company, ha! She acted more like the Queen of Sheba. She was horrible. I simply cannot believe someone that rude could own a successful company. I think she was lying about being The President and must just have been the clerk sitting next to the one who answered the phone. They probably play good cop/bad cop all day long and then laugh about it afterwards. Had we been in the same room with her (a room with an exposed light bulb hanging from the ceiling), I have no doubt whatsoever that she would have sucker punched our lovely realtor and kicked me to the floor. 

Our lovely realtor got in a huge and nasty argument on the phone with Ms. Monster Mouth (aka The President) over the damn keys.  Our lovely realtor was kind enough to put the phone call on speakerphone so we could hear both sides.  You should have seen the look on the notary’s face.  So what can I say?  I quite enjoyed it. Most fun I have had in months. I even managed to stay out of it. Really. I am not kidding. Well, I did yell something out at one point, but only one time. I am pretty sure that one “shout out” does not really count.


We moved in on Monday, right after getting the okay from The President. The movers met Tom at the storage unit at 3:00 pm and loaded up while I took the damn keys to the new house and cleaned furiously. The movers brought all our earthly belongings around 6:00 and were gone by 8:00. They did a great job.  

The past few days we have been nesting, buying odds and ends we need, opening boxes and putting things away. There are so many boxes. I am quite sure it will takes months, if not years, to empty them all. We have cable TV and internet – real fast internet, not like in the travel trailer. The long wait is over. We have a home.  Life is good. And it will be even better when the pool is functional.  I could cry I am so happy. But of course I don’t cry, so that’s not gonna happen.  

Cheers!

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Closing Thoughts


Yesterday we received the final paperwork clearing the way for closing on our house tomorrow, Friday, June 27th.   Today I am a whole body pretzel with all my fingers, toes, and appendages crossed.

This closing will take place 4 months after our original closing date was cancelled for the same exact house, and 3 months after the subsequent closing date was also cancelled and the contract terminated by Fannie Mae.  As you may remember, we had already sold our NYS house so we had to move down here anyway within days after the termination of the Florida house contract in late March.  It has been a challenging adventure.  The inconvenience of not having our belongings and practically living on top of each other in a travel trailer out in the boondocks will come to an end.  I still fear Fannie Mae will cancel at the eleventh hour and leave us high and dry, even though I rationally know all will be well.  I cannot help it.  Stuff happens.  I have some trust issues now. When you do not own a house or have a permanent home the world can be a scary place. Being at the mercy of landlords, government agencies, and bankers is an invitation for heartache and dehumanization.  I will not forget the lessons learned here. 

The movers are scheduled to bring our furniture and millions of boxes out of storage and to the new place on Monday.  We also have a delivery scheduled for new appliances. Utilities are being transferred.   TV/internet/land line phone services are scheduled for next week.  If I had a brain in my head I would have contracted with a cleaning service to clean the place before we move in, but I did not because when I shake my head nothing rattles, so I guess that means I am brainless.  Perhaps part of me wants to get in there and clean the place from top to bottom myself, making it my own, getting to know it up close and personal?

I am astounded to find I am a bit sad to leave the trailer.  Quite seriously, I am more sad and nostalgic about leaving this trailer than I was in March when we left behind our NYS house of 24 years.  What the hell is wrong with me?  I guess it is because the past 3 months have been hard for us.  This little trailer was a home when we had none, a sanctuary that served us well when we needed one. 

I will be without internet for a few days after we move, so I probably will not post again for a week.   If all goes well, it will be a very happy post. I think I can remember how to pull that off.

Right or wrong, here are my "closing thoughts" on our recent circumstances:  We were fortunate in many ways.  For one, we could afford to find a short term rental situation that was safe and private.  We knew we would eventually buy a house.  We have family near by, and friends a phone call or email away who gave us emotional support.  I am painfully aware that many people who do not own a home do not have resources or options.  The truly homeless are the saddest of all.  They are vulnerable beyond belief.  Can you imagine how awful it would be to end up in a homeless shelter with no money and little hope?  Like I said, stuff happens and sometimes you do not see it coming.  It can spiral outside of your control.  In some cases people lose their jobs and then they lose their house.  This is why so many of these houses for sale in Florida are foreclosures.  These former homeowners are not slackers or the mythic welfare cheats.  They are middle class parents with children who bought houses when the market commanded ridiculously high prices, thinking they had secure jobs and a safe, secure future.  They did not, and it was not their fault.  Someone once pointed out to me that, contrary to popular belief, it is actually physically impossible for a person to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps.  Sometimes you need help.  The banks did not always work with the owners to help them stay in their houses until their finances recovered.  It can be a cold, cruel world when money is the driving force.  During our house search I saw willful damage some of the people did to their homes before they were forced to moved out.  I was both shocked and moved.  Shocked because I could not condone their actions.  Moved because I could understand the anger and frustration that drove them to do it.  I am hyper aware that we are getting this house because someone else had to give it up.  Perhaps our recent (and in retrospect, mere) 3 months of struggle was a means for us to fully appreciate having a home.   I am grateful to our realtor and our lending agent for the kindness they showed and the help they gave us.  Compassion without judgment is the greatest kindness.  This is the lesson I have recently learned.

Big sigh…


Thursday, May 29, 2014

Oy Vey, and I Really Mean It


Yeah, the house purchasing crappola continues.  For point of information House #2 is owned by the VA and House #1 is owned by Fannie Mae.   No real human beings seem to be involved on the seller's end beyond the listing agents.  The listing agents must not be motivated by commission otherwise their lackluster performances make no sense.  Perhaps they get a flat fee from these large government organizations when they work for them, and that is why they do not seem to care?  Or maybe it is because the organizations are so large and impersonal that they do not make decisions quickly?   It is hard to say.  Like John Snow (Game of Thrones) I know nothing.

House #2 (VA):
This is a truly great house and we like it best; however, it is a little too big for us and has been sitting empty for a few years.  Consequently, it needs a significant amount of work, and the purchase price is more than House #1 (which is move-in ready).  When we first looked at it and decided to put an offer down we could see all the rooms had to be painted and it needed new carpeting throughout.  We also saw amazing potential both inside and out.  Great house.  After inspection, it became clear it needs new roof, new a/c, and the pool area would need a LOT of work: big bucks.  We were willing to get the additional repairs and refurbishing done, but we needed the VA to come down in price somewhat to make it worth our while.   It would have been a show of good faith on the part of the sellers.  Last Friday, after waiting nearly two weeks for their response, they finally got back to us with a measly reduction.   They made the statement they would rather put the house back on the market than come down anymore on the purchase price.  We got the message.  Since we are retirees on a fixed income that meant the house would quickly become a money pit for us.  We were still considering it, though, because we like the house.  Then Divine Providence intervened and our path became clear: the deal breaker for me was the following.  Last Friday we went with our lovely real estate agent, TM, to House #2 to look at it one last time before making a decision.   The neighbors out back know our lovely real estate agent, TM, because they go to the same church.   When we went out back to the pool we were talking to TM and the neighbors were in their pool and heard her voice.  They then started talking to TM through the fence from their yard.  Well, I have lived in the country the last 24 years without close neighbors.  I am loud, crass, and working class and so are most of my friends and family.  We cannot be repressed, nor would we want to be.  I am not used to neighbors hearing what I am saying in my own back yard.  Some of T and my most spectacular arguments have been outside on the deck up north.  I like arguing outside.  I do not want to whisper when I am playing with my grandkids in the pool.  Ick.  This soured me on House #2.   I do not want to live there.  I do not want to spend all our discretionary retirement income fixing it up.  Too bad, so sad.  Moving on now.

House #1 (Fannie Mae  - the house we thought we had before we left NYS):

This house is a little smaller than House #2, but the lots in the subdivision are bigger and houses are further apart.   The houses on either side do not have pools, so “they” will not be sitting outside in the blazing Florida heat listening to us, even though I KNOW “they” want to.  We are simply not interesting enough to risk sunburn and dehydration for.  The house behind us has a small pool far enough away that they would have to walk all the way to the fence (outside their pool area) to hear what we are saying.  The lot is totally fenced in on all sides out back.  I will never have to see or even meet my neighbors beyond a quick wave and a  “Hi there” if I do not want to.  Yes, these are the things I worry about.  Welcome to my neuroses.  I am a big nut, I know, but it is hard for a country girl to get used to suburban living.  If you are also a country girl, ya’ll know what I mean.  Yes, I just spoke Southern.   I am Southern now.  Deal with it.

As I mentioned in an earlier blog post, House #1 went back on the market last week and the listing agent called our lovely realtor TM wanting to know if we would like to make an offer.  Of course at first I was angry; Angry is my middle name.  Hot-Head is the name I took for Confirmation.  If you say my first name first, middle name second, Confirmation name third, and my last name last you get a pretty clear idea of whom I am.  And I only used the word “whom” because my spell checker forced me to. 

I digress.  It quickly became clear that House #2 was not going to happen, so we made yet another offer on House #1 – offering the same terms/price that our previous contract had agreed upon.  They immediately got back to our realtor and accepted it.  There was no haggling and no counter offer.  I was caught off guard; astounded really.  I was looking for a fight.  We went to see House #1 and noticed that the sliding glass door was stuck and asked them to fix it - they did it the next day.  We asked for proof of title (to make sure they actually own it now) and they provided it immediately.  It has new a/c, new water heater, and new carpeting throughout thanks to our previous two offers/negotiations.   The roof was new in 2008.   We can move our stuff in without having to do any major repairs or refurbishing beforehand (we will paint rooms over time).  So we are going for it.  Or maybe this is a dream, hard to tell these days.  We should have a signed contract today. 

We have not forgotten that Fannie Mae cost us money, inconvenience, and anxiety in the past few months, but we always wanted this house to be our retirement home.   In fact, this is the third offer we have made on it.  The first time we walked away from it because they would not come down from their initial absurd asking price and also would not make some necessary repairs when the old water heater broke.  The second time they did come down in price to our liking and fixed the things that were wrong, but then it turned out they did not have title and could not sell it to us.  (I still can’t get over that, by the way, it boggles the mind.)  Hopefully the third time works. Hopefully we are not just brain-fried old suckers opening ourselves up for more hurt.   The only downside is our lender needs to start from scratch with this offer – she is unable to just reopen a closed file, so it may be as much as 30 days before we can close and move in.  But at least the reason is on our end and not the sellers.  Sigh.   But (again, hopefully) perhaps there is an end in sight.  This has been nuts. 

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

The Theatre of the Absurd


Life is so strange; sometimes I can hardly believe it.   If I can be thankful for anything in this Comedy of Errors called “Retiring to Florida” it is a chance to perform in this Theatre of the Absurd called “Buying a House in Florida circa 2014.”  Quite the story, and I have been cast in a truly great dramatic role.  "All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up."


House #2
Our current housing opportunity is fraught with waiting.  The listing agent (representing the seller, who is the Veterans Administration) is a turd…seriously.   I yearn to ask him why he never returns our realtor’s calls.  Is it because he is, in fact, a turd?  Or is it a brilliant realtor tactic to break us down by making us wait and wait for his response and thereby force us to become desperate enough to accept any counter offer he makes?   I really want to know, because if it is a tactic at least I can then understand his lack of responsiveness.  I might eventually be able to respect his ruthlessness.  Real estate is a game one plays to win, after all.  My fear is that he is just lazy and uncaring. And that is so boring.

House #1
Last Sunday our realtor called to tell us that the listing agent from the original house we came down here to buy (the one that Fannie Mae never really owned….) would be going back on the market because they now have title to the house, and they wondered if we were still interested in making an offer.   An offer?  Really?  For crying out loud, we had a contract; a contract they kept extending and then unilaterally cancelled over a month after we first expected to close.  And they cancelled it three days before we moved down here, long after we sold our house up North.  How do I detest thee? Let me count the ways.  

OK, I am now pulling myself together (slight pause while she pulls herself together).  Now that I have publicly ranted and indulged my anger and frustration I need to consider:  Do I want to become a hateful and bitter victim?  No, I do not.  If I change into a hateful and bitter person because of the acts of another, then the bad guys win and I lose.  Been there, didn't do that.  Not gonna happen now either. I refuse to be unhappy because a few other people are either dimwits or have sold their souls to the devil.  And I think that is the crux of the matter.  Putting aside homelessness, boredom, anxiety, and anticipation, I just bottom line refuse to be unhappy. This long, frustrating process has taught me that I am not in control of anything except my reactions. Our goal is that we will find a great house to spend our retirement in.  And we will. 

Saturday, April 26, 2014

The Waiting Game


It is hard to wait.  It provokes a variety of emotions including boredom, annoyance, depression, anger, and frustration.  Waiting demands surrender.  If you are waiting, it is because the situation is outside of your control.  Consequently, waiting is one of those few real-life situations where surrender seems appropriate.   Sometimes to fight is to lose.  Hard thing, though...surrender. 

Like most people, I hate to wait.  I am impulsive, short-tempered, and quick thinking.  I remember when I was in the early grades at school and I would get in trouble during those group read-out-loud projects where everyone in class had to take a turn reading out loud.  We were expected to patiently wait our turn and follow the other readers in the book.  That was problematic for me.  I could not wait.  I would read ahead while others struggled with the words.  Then I would lose my place when it was once again my turn to read out loud. I would have no idea where everyone else was reading. That would infuriate the nuns.  Busted. Waiting seemed counterintuitive to me then and it still does, but there are times when it is unavoidable.  My Catholic parents might
have told me hard times are good for my immortal soul.  Buddhism would support that idea. It is the hard times that test you, challenge you, enable you to withstand more than you thought you could.  Blah, blah, blah…  I’m sick of waiting. 

We waited for inspections (general house, termite, pool) and subsequent reports the past couple of weeks.  They found some stuff wrong with the house and the pool; fixable things, but pricey.  Now we are waiting for negotiations with the bank to take place to either get them to either lower the price or fix the problems.  That means we are also waiting to know if we need to rescind our offer and move on and start all over again.  Oh, and the wifi in the vacation resort is awful - unreliable and as slow as dial-up sometimes.  We are always waiting on internet connections, or we just give up and wait until we go to M's house to catch up on Facebook or answer emails.  We are staying about 35 minutes from M and her family, so the drive there and back is all about waiting to get someplace.  We waited two days for the resort people to fix a minor plumbing issue.   A lot of our mail is still being forwarded, so we wait and wait for mail which we have to drive 35 minutes to pick up at our PO Box. We had to wait for over a week for new checks to arrive from our new bank.  Moving is rife with waiting opportunities.  Buying a house, too.  I could go on and on.  Aren't you glad I am going to stop now?

On that damn bright side, it is warm enough to swim in a pool now.  We have already been in M & MV's pool with the kids.  It is so much fun.  N is 2 years old and just as cute as can be.  He wears a little swimming tube that looks like a yellow tutu.  SOOOO hilarious and darling.  E is 10 and is growing and maturing in leaps and bounds. 
Occasionally she forgets she is a complicated, negative, goth-queen tween and manages to laugh out loud at something ridiculous and uncool.  That warms my heart. 
I hate the waiting game, but it is worth it to be with my family.  It is worth it to play with our grandchildren.  Neither T nor I are particularly mature; we splash around and misbehave like crazy with the kids in the pool.  They love it.  We do, too.   In fact, we are waiting now to go there and play in the pool today.  I can't wait.

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Inspection

The general house inspection and termite/pest inspection both took place on Thursday of this past week.   Once again, it is a foreclosure.  However, it is not a Fannie Mae owned property like house #1 was.  House #2 is owned by a bank.  As with so many houses for sale down here, it has been sitting vacant for a couple of years while the bank forecloses on the poor unfortunate prior owners who bought the place during the housing bubble and then lost it when the economy bottomed out, they lost their jobs, and the banks refused to work with them to keep their house.   Consequently, you will find the disgruntled prior owners often do some cosmetic damage throughout the house before they leave.   They might punch in a closet wall, or put hand prints on the walls.   They will pull pictures off the walls without caring that part of the wall comes with it; angry and obvious things like that.   I imagine they think they are sticking the bank with repairs.   However, the banks do not care enough about the properties to repair them. 

In addition to cosmetic patching, painting, and replacing carpeting,  the house needs a new roof and the air conditioning/heating no longer works.   The bank either does not know or is remaining silent on these two big ticket issues.  Foolish if the latter, because no potential buyers will be able to get insurance or financing for a house with these particular problems.  These important bargaining issues need to be resolved during this inspection period when we have the ability to rescind the offer and walk away if need be.  If the bank will come down to our satisfaction to fully address those issues we will pursue buying house #2.   If not, we will move on and start again.   Depressing, because the house has great potential and we love the area it is in, but we no longer have time to play games.   We want to be in a house before hurricane season starts...


I enjoyed the house inspector.  He was a big guy, sweet and chatty.  Just before I met him I overheard him talking to his "Momma" on the cell phone, telling her that he loved her.   When I shook his hand, I said "I am always happy to meet a man who loves his mother."   He replied in earnest, "Well, you know they need a lot of love." 

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Living Large

We have moved up in the world from the "Crack" hotel, as T likes to call the (actually reasonably nice) motel room experience we had the first week and a half we were here.  Our small travel trailer now feels like a mansion to us. The whole trailer rocks from side to side when one of us walks inside it. The first time I felt it I thought there was a minor earthquake happening. 

Some more good news: we just heard that the closing on our NYS house is scheduled for Thursday afternoon of this week.   We will be so relieved when that is behind us.






Friday, April 4, 2014

Some Good News at Last!

The movers came yesterday and brought all our household stuff and furniture to the storage unit.  All went well!  You should have seen that monster moving van make the 90 degree turn.  Terrifying.  Well, I actually kept my eyes closed, but T was enjoying it.  I have been filled with anxiety for a week fearing that truck would not make the turn and then we would have to deal with finding another unit that could accommodate a 75 foot moving van while the movers waited on the highway.  T kept trying to get me to look, but I was on the verge of hyperventilating and just could not watch.   I did watch it back up, turn around, and make that turn onto the highway again when all was done and they were leaving the lot.  Those guys are amazing drivers and hard working souls.  Of course, then T wanted me to stop watching the van so we could leave.  I have learned that you just cannot make a man happy! 

I am glad to have that behind us and to know where all our "stuff" is.  It is in a climate controlled unit inside a large secured building, so we do not have to worry about everything melting in the Florida heat.  Oh yeah, no one told us that they expected a certified check upon delivery.   After a few tense moments they agreed to take our credit card.   Just another stressed out moment we did not see coming.  We are learning to take it on the chin, get back up before the count of 10, and live to fight another round.  Luckily, boxing is our favorite sport.   In fact, I would love to beat someone up right now with a whole room full of people watching and get paid for it.   I could'a been a contender.   

Yesterday the bank accepted our offer on the house we now want to buy.  Now we have to start scrambling for lender approval on that.  We also have to quickly get the house and pool inspected because we are shooting for a closing at the end of April.

We are moving from the Red Roof Inn to a travel trailer in a RV vacation resort today.  Should be there for up to 2 months, depending on when our house closing is and what work we have to do to the house before we move in.  Most of the other people who are staying at the resort are on vacation, so I think maybe we will pretend we are, too.  They gave us a great deal and they were the only place we found to rent to us month by month, so we pretty much had to take it.   The monthly rent is 1/4 of what we are paying at the motel.  That makes me so happy.  The travel trailer seems GREAT in comparison to the motel room.  Although, the Red Roof Inn was not as bad as you might think.  Anyway, we are now off to live in sunny, concrete vacation land. 

STILL haven't closed on our house up in New York.    Getting nervous about that.  

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Moving


The movers came and packed everything up on Monday morning.  We cleaned and then left the house mid-afternoon.  That was very stressful but went well.  It was also all consuming, which was probably for the best.  We did not even notice we were leaving the house for the last time when we drove away because we were too busy fighting about which direction to go in.  Typical “us.”  We decided to let the GPS make the final decision, and the damn thing chose T’s route.  That was annoying.  Consequently, the fact that we had left our home of 24 years for the last time did not hit me for about 20 miles.  Truthfully, it was much easier that way.

We drove about 8 hours and stopped for the night in Staunton, Virginia at a Comfort Inn.   Buddy was zonked on cat downers and was remarkably good.  

The next day we stopped at a rest stop outside of Savanna and noticed that the Stella d'Ora day lilies were just about ready to bloom.  I was so happy and then I remembered that I no longer have any flowers.  Sigh.  Hope the next few weeks are happily productive.  It is a strange time. Still I am excited.

Oh yeah, the Florida house fell through.   The realtor called us in tears two days before we left and she let us know Fannie Mae was canceling the sale because they couldn't get the deed in lieu of foreclosure from the previous owners.  That means the previous owners still own it and Fannie Mae will have to go through the foreclosure process to get clear title to the house. It will take months and then they will have to open it up for offers again.  They said we could bid on it when that happens, but obviously we are done. So we are going to have to start over.  Unbelievable.  We are in good humor, though, and are determined to make the best of this chaotic transition without losing our minds.   There is no acceptable alternative.  



Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Sheesh

Well, I am not sure how to say this without sounding overly dramatic or even pathetic - but we are moving on Monday, March 24 and when we get down to Florida we will be checking into the Red Roof Inn for God knows how long with our cat, Buddy in tow.  We may be there for a couple of months.  Homeless.  Can you believe it?  

The movers will move all our earthly belongings into a rented storage unit in our new “Florida home town without a home.”  We are absolutely at the mercy of Fannie Mae, and they could not care less. They refuse to let us rent until they resolve the damn "deed-in-lieu of foreclosure" issue.  They cannot give us any indication whatsoever about when the closing will be except that "It could be this week, it could be 2 months from now."  Unless we want to cancel the offer the next time they ask for an extension, we have no choice but to wait. We have no choice, no control, just seething anger and dismay.  The feisty old dame in me wants to tell them to shove it (with great force); however, cancelling the offer means we will have to start the house hunting process all over again, which would also take a couple of months. We really like the house and have painfully negotiated a good deal.   Call it denial, desperation, bad decision, but we are not ready to cancel and are going to wait it out at least for another month.  In Florida, in a motel room with T, cat Buddy, and me.  I can hardly convey this information without laughing hysterically.  I feel that instead of writing a blog, I should be writing a screenplay about our life.  Or a pilot for a situation comedy.  And the TV show could easily be called The Aging Female Baby Boomer, because I am aging REALLY fast these days.

As indicated in an earlier post, this sloppiness and continued requests for delayed closing is all too common with Fannie Mae foreclosures since the housing crisis started a few years ago.   It is, as my Mother would say, “A sin and a shame.” 

Stay tuned for the continuing adventures of T, C, and Buddy makes 3.   We are determined to both maintain our sanity and have a good time, assuming our marriage lasts.  Buddy is going to be miserable.   Bless his heart.  

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

More of the Same

New York house:
We talked to the lawyer yesterday and he is fairly confident the closing will be in the last week of March.   So far all "seems" well with that closing.  Of course, anything could happen at any minute.  I am vigilant and prepared, positively dripping with anxiety.  I have not closed my eyes or turned my back for weeks.  I SO want to leave this old house before the snow melts so I will not be reminded about the perennial beds we are leaving, nor be tempted to start weeding and mulching.   We threw away our wheelbarrow, so would not be able to start mulching anyway.   I am not sure what I think about living a life without a wheelbarrow, by the way.  It is disconcerting.  It will be one of our first purchases in Florida.


Florida house:
Talk about annoying... Fannie Mae does not seem to care about the house or our predicament.  As I mentioned in an earlier post, it seems they "misplaced" the deed-in-lieu of foreclosure from the previous owners and now have to track them down and get it.  In the meantime, we are at their mercy.  Because they are a mindless government bureaucracy, they will NOT let us move in and rent before the closing can take place. "Not their policy." It is like talking to a machine. Our Florida realtor has been valiant and proactive trying to get information and push them along.  So has our lender's agent.  I now have close personal relationships with both those women!  I love the Southern girls.  They are kind and friendly and hardworking.  However, if my realtor tells me "Everything happens for a reason" one more time I may say something I will most certainly regret. 

Moving:
We have rescheduled our move date with our movers three times...   It is embarrassing, and if the closing on this house is March 28th, then we really need to get out of town soon. Yesterday we made the decision to have the movers come early on the last week of March.  We will then hit the road (with our cat Buddy) later that week - depending on how the cleaning goes.  We found a pet friendly motel in Rocky Mount, NC.  If we have not closed on the Florida house by the time we arrive we may have to put poor Buddy in a kennel until we find a place to stay.  We are asking the movers to wait until after the 28th to deliver our stuff in Florida in hopes that we can take possession of the house by then (we live in hope).  If we have not closed and there is still indeterminate bullshit going on with the closing we will have the movers put all our earthly belongings in storage down there. We will then find a place to rent on a short term basis that allows pets and rent month by month until either we close on the house we want, or we find another place to buy.  Un*&^$@!#believable! We probably could negotiate with the new owners to rent back our current home for another month, but we decided not to.  We are tired of waiting. We want to leave before the spring gardening season hits.  And if all falls through and we are forced to start looking for a new Florida house, then we want to be down there to do it.  In the meantime, the key word is "adventure." 
We are still packing, still hauling junk to the curb, still taking bits and pieces to the Salvation Army. 
This is not fun.

That Nagging Bright Side Thing:
However, in spite of everything, I must admit there is still this spark deep inside me that promises everything.  It is the same spark that used to ignite when I skipped school in high school.  It is that "run away" spark that promises escape, excitement, and fun.  It keeps me going.  That, and knowing I will soon be playing with my grandchildren on a regular basis.  Playing can be done whether we are in a house with a pool or stuck in a seedy motel.  Of course, their parents probably won't let them come to the seedy motel.   Not to worry, they have a house with a pool.  Darn it Bright Side, you think of everything!

Once this buy/move/sell thing is behind me I really have to write about the joys of skipping school.   

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Glitches Galore

The process of selling the house in NYS is moving along fairly well.  The closing date is tentatively March 29th.  But as we have learned, and we have learned a lot recently, nothing is set in stone.  We have a few things to do/repair as a result of the inspection.  It is not surprising that we have to spend some money to sell this place, it being an old house and all that.  We just want it all to work out and be done with it.   We want to move.

We will not be leaving NYS on March 7th after all.  In fact, we probably will not move until towards the end of the month.  We are still having problems closing on the Florida house.  That house, like so many Florida houses, is a foreclosure and is being sold by Fannie Mae - a notoriously difficult proposition. Apparently (and unbeknownst to us until recently) the original owners had offered to give Fannie Mae a "deed in lieu," which essentially turns the house over without having to go through the expense and ordeal of foreclosure. 

Well, Fannie Mae either did not actually get that deed in lieu or cannot find it.  It is not clear which.  As the February 21st closing date approached they became aware that they did not have it and so could not meet that deadline.  They asked for a week's extension to Feb 28th, which we signed off on, even though we had driven down to Florida for the Feb 21st closing.  On Feb 28th they still had not received it so they then asked for a new extension pushing the closing to March 28th. Silly us thought it was a "request." We gave them a March 20th extension thinking it would keep the pressure on them to find the damn paperwork.   Then we rescheduled our movers.  Yesterday we got notification from Fannie Mae (via our FL realtor) that they were not messing around on the March 28th date and if we did not sign a new agreement pushing the closing date to March 28th they would cancel the contract and we would be without a house.  As you can imagine we complied.  Lesson learned. 

Fannie Mae is in now charge of our lives.  Good to know.  Currently the tentative closing is March 28th.  Of course this is cutting it kind of close and we are hoping we do not have to reschedule the movers a third time.  Fannie Mae could still get that deed in lieu any day and the closing then could happen ASAP.  One never knows what will happen next and occasionally something good happens.  It is (not so) simple math.  Probability or something like that.  After all this trauma with buying and selling, when something good does happens it always feels so gloriously good.   Like Christmas.  Like the Cavalry arriving.  Like Mighty Mouse swooping down from the sky ("Here he comes to save the DAYYYYY!").  


We "took the weekend off" by going into deep denial mode, a mental vacation of sorts.  It helped.   Feeling a bit better today.   Almost time for a repair man to arrive.   Gotta go.

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Stress


Friday was a huge stress day.  It was the first showing of our NYS house to prospective buyers.  Saturday there were two more!  We are happy that there is interest. We have cleaned and cleaned, organized, packed, de-cluttered, and hidden things away in the closets and pantry.  I am driving T crazy with my frenetic anxiety.  I made him wait while we were about to leave before the first viewing so I could quickly clean the toaster oven on our way out.  It caught my eye and begged to be cleaned.  You would have done the same thing if you saw how dirty it was.  Unless, of course, you are a man with your coat on and one foot already out of the door.  Anyone who has sold a house knows how disruptive this process is.  First of all, you have to leave the house and find someplace to go during the showing, all the while struggling to forget that strangers are back at your house judging your furniture and commenting on the ridiculous colors you painted the bedrooms.  Even when no showings are scheduled you cannot relax into comfortable self-indulgence because the house needs to stay clean.  I am trying to just let go and not care.  It is what it is. 

We have extensive flower gardens and the 1.6 acres are lovely in spring, summer, and fall.  They would be a big plus in selling this place if only people knew they were there.  Currently they are covered in at least a foot of snow and everything out back is gray and frozen.  My sister, ERB, suggested I leave out photos of the yard and flowers so prospective buyers can get some idea of the yard.  Thanks ERB.  It was fun putting a photo board together of the yard.  It felt like I was staging a wake for the gardens.  I guess I am, for me and mine.  Truthfully, it is easier for us to let go of this place in the winter because we cannot see what we are giving up.   As much as I will miss the Zone 5 flowers, I have to remind myself that the thrill of extreme gardening has been gone for a few years now.   We did that, and it is time to do something else.   Like figure out what can grow and thrive in Zone 9. 

Then we got a call from our Florida realtor telling us that the title company is having trouble with the deed on the house we are buying.  It will be resolved but they cannot guarantee it will be resolved by our scheduled closing date – which means it may have to be rescheduled.  We have already booked non-refundable air tickets to go down for the closing we have been expecting.  AND, we have booked the movers to move our stuff down two weeks after the originally scheduled closing.  Plus, our closing date was the absolute last day that the bank (the seller) was allowing.   What the hell?  

I am not a “go with the flow” kind of person.   I want to know exactly what is going to happen next.  OK – taking a deep breath now.   This, too, shall pass.

Still looking for that damn bright side…  Maybe living through this will enable me to reduce my time in Purgatory by a couple of days?  Maybe things will work out quickly and easily?  Stay tuned.

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Buying, Moving, and Selling

BUYING:
It is likely we will actually buy the house we have an offer on in Florida.  The offer has been accepted.  An actual closing date is being proposed.   We have been pre-approved for the loan.   Now the fun (NOT!) begins.

We are having some more problems with the Florida house re-inspection.  Sheesh.  I hate those *$#@! bankers.   They did a half-assed job of fixing something from the previous inspection (which resulted in us walking away from this house the first time around, back in November - and, by God, don't think we won't do it again!).  Now we have to fight nearly the same fight all over again.   The house is a foreclosure and unfortunately the owners are not in the picture.  It is Fannie Mae and the bankers are in charge.  They do not seem to care one bit about the house and the damage they will do to it if they do not fix things correctly.  Soul-less, limited vision, greedy, liars, cheaters, blah, blah, blah.   I really cannot get started on this right now.  Will get back to you with more on that later - too fresh to talk about without filling me with anxiety and provoking a full-on rant attack.  And it hasn't been resolved one way or another yet.   Hopefully tomorrow.   

I hate, hate, hate this stuff.  It reminds me too much of work but without the authority I was used to.  Work was not personal, so I could make decisions and play hardball and feel like it was a fun game that was mine to win.  This, however, is my life.  And I cannot just make all the decisions on my own.  I have to compromise and present a united front with my husband/partner, T.  If you have ever been in a relationship with another human being you know that rarely do two people ever agree on everything.  Or maybe anything.  But certainly never on how to direct a negotiation.  The inherent differences between two people's tolerance for risk are all too clear when they have to come together as one unit in the midst of an external negotiation process.  The struggle for two people to compromise in order to present a united front is mindboggling!  Seriously, it gets complicated.  It would probably be easier if one of us was a passive type.  But no, we cannot even slow dance together because I am unable to follow his lead.  I am not kidding.  We were both managers for many years and we are both used to being in charge at work.  This "buying a home" thing is good experience for us to learn to compromise and share power and authority in our old age.   Finally, after 42 1/2 years together!  We are making headway - mostly because HE is a rational person.  I will be so happy when buying, moving, and selling are all behind us and we can get back to settling into retirement.  

MOVING:
We want to interview a couple of realtors for selling our old house in NYS and get a few estimates from movers for moving our stuff down to Florida.   We had one well known moving company come and give us an estimate last week - really liked the estimator and we think we got a good quote.   Either this is going to be the easy part of the relocation, or it simply has not progressed to the part of the moving process that will drive me crazy.

SELLING:
We have been de-cluttering like crazy, and packing slowly but surely.   We are also painting some rooms, replacing things, cleaning, and generally trying to get the house to look good.  We finally met with a realtor the other day.  He is the son of a friend, fairly new to the game, but middle-aged and reinventing himself as a realtor after a successful career in the construction business.  I like his energy and enthusiasm (and sheer joy), but will also call a second, more experienced realtor and compare their services.  The more established realtor is someone our daughter used when she and MV lived up north.  I will confess to a worry about the more established of the two being motivated to sell a funky old house like ours out in the boondocks.  This place will not represent a lot of money for a realtor, and I worry the more established one is used to a different clientele and a higher profit.  The newer one seems "hungry" to make some sales and create a reputation.  He also grew up in this neck of the woods and understands the "rural life" and the people inhabiting the area.  If red flags are popping up in your mind, please do not worry.  We still have an open mind.  Really.   :)