coming out of my shell

coming out of my shell

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Closing Thoughts

Yesterday we received the final paperwork clearing the way for closing on our house tomorrow, Friday, June 27th.   Today I am a whole body pretzel with all my fingers, toes, and appendages crossed.

This closing will take place 4 months after our original closing date was cancelled for the same exact house, and 3 months after the subsequent closing date was also cancelled and the contract terminated by Fannie Mae.  As you may remember, we had already sold our NYS house so we had to move down here anyway within days after the termination of the Florida house contract in late March.  It has been a challenging adventure.  The inconvenience of not having our belongings and practically living on top of each other in a travel trailer out in the boondocks will come to an end.  I still fear Fannie Mae will cancel at the eleventh hour and leave us high and dry, even though I rationally know all will be well.  I cannot help it.  Stuff happens.  I have some trust issues now. When you do not own a house or have a permanent home the world can be a scary place. Being at the mercy of landlords, government agencies, and bankers is an invitation for heartache and dehumanization.  I will not forget the lessons learned here. 

The movers are scheduled to bring our furniture and millions of boxes out of storage and to the new place on Monday.  We also have a delivery scheduled for new appliances. Utilities are being transferred.   TV/internet/land line phone services are scheduled for next week.  If I had a brain in my head I would have contracted with a cleaning service to clean the place before we move in, but I did not because when I shake my head nothing rattles, so I guess that means I am brainless.  Perhaps part of me wants to get in there and clean the place from top to bottom myself, making it my own, getting to know it up close and personal?

I am astounded to find I am a bit sad to leave the trailer.  Quite seriously, I am more sad and nostalgic about leaving this trailer than I was in March when we left behind our NYS house of 24 years.  What the hell is wrong with me?  I guess it is because the past 3 months have been hard for us.  This little trailer was a home when we had none, a sanctuary that served us well when we needed one. 

I will be without internet for a few days after we move, so I probably will not post again for a week.   If all goes well, it will be a very happy post. I think I can remember how to pull that off.

Right or wrong, here are my "closing thoughts" on our recent circumstances:  We were fortunate in many ways.  For one, we could afford to find a short term rental situation that was safe and private.  We knew we would eventually buy a house.  We have family near by, and friends a phone call or email away who gave us emotional support.  I am painfully aware that many people who do not own a home do not have resources or options.  The truly homeless are the saddest of all.  They are vulnerable beyond belief.  Can you imagine how awful it would be to end up in a homeless shelter with no money and little hope?  Like I said, stuff happens and sometimes you do not see it coming.  It can spiral outside of your control.  In some cases people lose their jobs and then they lose their house.  This is why so many of these houses for sale in Florida are foreclosures.  These former homeowners are not slackers or the mythic welfare cheats.  They are middle class parents with children who bought houses when the market commanded ridiculously high prices, thinking they had secure jobs and a safe, secure future.  They did not, and it was not their fault.  Someone once pointed out to me that, contrary to popular belief, it is actually physically impossible for a person to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps.  Sometimes you need help.  The banks did not always work with the owners to help them stay in their houses until their finances recovered.  It can be a cold, cruel world when money is the driving force.  During our house search I saw willful damage some of the people did to their homes before they were forced to moved out.  I was both shocked and moved.  Shocked because I could not condone their actions.  Moved because I could understand the anger and frustration that drove them to do it.  I am hyper aware that we are getting this house because someone else had to give it up.  Perhaps our recent (and in retrospect, mere) 3 months of struggle was a means for us to fully appreciate having a home.   I am grateful to our realtor and our lending agent for the kindness they showed and the help they gave us.  Compassion without judgment is the greatest kindness.  This is the lesson I have recently learned.

Big sigh…

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