The first day of high school in my senior year (September 1968), I was standing in
a crowded hallway during class changes. It was my turn to walk my friend Kate to class, and it was going to be someone else's turn when that class was
over. Our large group of friends had worked out a schedule
in the morning before classes started. Kate was shattered and broken.
She needed help.
She
kept her head down, staring at the floor, not saying a word as we walked. I looked all my passing classmates directly
in the eyes with the hardest, meanest stare I could muster. I was defending my friend against the
insensitivity of cruel people who did not care.
When asked, I lied and said "No, Kate
did NOT have a baby over the summer." You had to lie back then. And
I thought, “Oh, by the way, if I have to say that one more time somebody's
gonna get their ass kicked." The reason Kate did not defend herself was because she had only been out of
the hospital for a week and her episiotomy stitches still burned and
itched. Most of all she did not
speak because the trauma of being forced to give her first child away against
her will had silenced her. Her anguish and confusion were palpable.
Kate and her boyfriend wanted to get married. He was just out of high school, and wanted her and the baby. Her parents wouldn't allow
it and made the decision to give the baby away. She and her boyfriend
were not allowed a voice in the matter.
I lost touch with Kate after high school; however, I heard she eventually married the father of her baby once she graduated and moved out of her parents' house. I hope that's true.
My husband,
T, had his autosomal DNA tested last May in hopes of finding out his
heritage. This is a popular endeavor in the U.S. right now and at least one other blogger has written about it recently.
Autosomal DNA gives you information about all your ancestors, not
just ones in a male or female line. When you get the results it also gives you
biological matches to near and distant relatives who have also had their DNA tested
on ancestry.com, telling you what the matches are to you, like siblings, 1st,
2nd, 3rd, and 4th cousins. Well, when he got
his results it revealed to him that he has another biological daughter. BIG
surprise! He had no idea. It was the 1960s, for crying out loud.
R was given up for adoption by her birth mother. She did her DNA test as a way to find her birth parents. Many of her DNA "cousin" matches had the same
last name as T. Since she didn't know about T, and he had not yet submitted his
DNA, the repeat appearances of those family surnames did not help her in her
search. R assumed that she would not find her actual biological parents unless they submitted a DNA test via ancestry.com. Which is what happened with T.
She is a lovely person, solid and good. There are many interesting similarities between her
(and her children) and the rest of T's family. We have grown-up
grandchildren now, and another son-in-law!!!! Plus our daughter, M, now has a sister! When I wrote my bit
about the concept of Grace a while back, this is
what I was referring to; this unbelievably mind-altering, joyous cosmic gift.
