Closure

The NYS house closed on Thursday.  It was a bit anticlimactic since it was two long weeks later than originally predicted; however, beggars can’t be choosers.  We are happy this major hurdle is behind us now.  I try to imagine the new family taking the bundle of keys and manuals they received at closing to the empty house to explore their new home.  I hope they are falling in love with the old house, the 1.6 acres of land, and with themselves.  I hope that is what happened.   However, my bruised, anxiety laden psyche taunts me, whispering they are inside the house raving about the carpet being dirty, the lack of closet space, the inadequate lighting. Worse, I imagine the snow is now melted and the land out back is flooded, as it often is at this time of the year. With all the snow cover they could only imagine what the land was like.  Now for the first time they will see the ridiculous number of perennial garden beds we created.  Sure, those beds will be beautiful in a month or two, but in April they are wet and covered with leaves and sticks and weeds that need to be pulled.  All the beds need to be edged.  They need to figure out how to take the snowplow off the mower and put the mowing blade back on.  I cannot help but imagine they think, “What the hell?  What have we got ourselves into?  What is a weed and what is a flower? 

OK, OK, I realize we knew nothing when we were a young family and first moved in there.  We learned everything from books, trial and error, and hard work, and it was our pleasure for many years.  Working on the house and gardens was a joyful hobby.  It provided an escape from the work-a-day world and gave us a chance to build our homeowner skills and confidence. We reveled in the privacy of the setting, and communed with nature.  Every task was filled with hope for the future.  We were building the future.  It was great.   It was great when we were young like these new owners are young.  They will be fine. That particular “future” has become my past.  It is a part of my life that is over with the sale of that house and those garden beds.  I do not yearn for it yet.  I expect I will at some point, though.  For now I rarely think about it except to worry that the weeds are taking over.  

Last night we heard that we have a signed contract for the new house in Florida.   Next week we will have house, pool, and termite inspections done.  That will tell us if this house is in the cards for us.   If so, then we can start building a new future.   It needs some work, especially outside.  I have some ideas for really beautiful perennial beds.   And you should see the crazy flowers they grow around here.  Exciting.

More of the Same

New York house:
We talked to the lawyer yesterday and he is fairly confident the closing will be in the last week of March.   So far all "seems" well with that closing.  Of course, anything could happen at any minute.  I am vigilant and prepared, positively dripping with anxiety.  I have not closed my eyes or turned my back for weeks.  I SO want to leave this old house before the snow melts so I will not be reminded about the perennial beds we are leaving, nor be tempted to start weeding and mulching.   We threw away our wheelbarrow, so would not be able to start mulching anyway.   I am not sure what I think about living a life without a wheelbarrow, by the way.  It is disconcerting.  It will be one of our first purchases in Florida.

Florida house:

Talk about annoying... Fannie Mae does not seem to care about the house or our predicament.  As I mentioned in an earlier post, it seems they "misplaced" the deed-in-lieu of foreclosure from the previous owners and now have to track them down and get it.  In the meantime, we are at their mercy.  Because they are a mindless government bureaucracy, they will NOT let us move in and rent before the closing can take place. "Not their policy." It is like talking to a machine. Our Florida realtor has been valiant and proactive trying to get information and push them along.  So has our lender's agent.  I now have close personal relationships with both those women!  I love the Southern girls.  They are kind and friendly and hardworking.  However, if my realtor tells me "Everything happens for a reason" one more time I may say something I will most certainly regret. 

Moving:

We have rescheduled our move date with our movers three times...   It is embarrassing, and if the closing on this house is March 28th, then we really need to get out of town soon. Yesterday we made the decision to have the movers come early on the last week of March.  We will then hit the road (with our cat Buddy) later that week - depending on how the cleaning goes.  We found a pet friendly motel in Rocky Mount, NC.  If we have not closed on the Florida house by the time we arrive we may have to put poor Buddy in a kennel until we find a place to stay.  We are asking the movers to wait until after the 28th to deliver our stuff in Florida in hopes that we can take possession of the house by then (we live in hope).  If we have not closed and there is still indeterminate bullshit going on with the closing we will have the movers put all our earthly belongings in storage down there. We will then find a place to rent on a short term basis that allows pets and rent month by month until either we close on the house we want, or we find another place to buy.  Un*&^$@!#believable! We probably could negotiate with the new owners to rent back our current home for another month, but we decided not to.  We are tired of waiting. We want to leave before the spring gardening season hits.  And if all falls through and we are forced to start looking for a new Florida house, then we want to be down there to do it.  In the meantime, the key word is "adventure." 

We are still packing, still hauling junk to the curb, still taking bits and pieces to the Salvation Army. 

This is not fun.

That Nagging Bright Side Thing:
However, in spite of everything, I must admit there is still this spark deep inside me that promises everything.  It is the same spark that used to ignite when I skipped school in high school.  It is that "run away" spark that promises escape, excitement, and fun.  It keeps me going.  That, and knowing I will soon be playing with my grandchildren on a regular basis.  Playing can be done whether we are in a house with a pool or stuck in a seedy motel.  Of course, their parents probably won't let them come to the seedy motel.   Not to worry, they have a house with a pool.  Darn it Bright Side, you think of everything!

Once this buy/move/sell thing is behind me I really have to write about the joys of skipping school.   

Glitches Galore

The process of selling the house in NYS is moving along fairly well.  The closing date is tentatively March 29th.  But as we have learned, and we have learned a lot recently, nothing is set in stone.  We have a few things to do/repair as a result of the inspection.  It is not surprising that we have to spend some money to sell this place, it being an old house and all that.  We just want it all to work out and be done with it.   We want to move.

We will not be leaving NYS on March 7th after all.  In fact, we probably will not move until towards the end of the month.  We are still having problems closing on the Florida house.  That house, like so many Florida houses, is a foreclosure and is being sold by Fannie Mae - a notoriously difficult proposition. Apparently (and unbeknownst to us until recently) the original owners had offered to give Fannie Mae a "deed in lieu," which essentially turns the house over without having to go through the expense and ordeal of foreclosure. 

Well, Fannie Mae either did not actually get that deed in lieu or cannot find it.  It is not clear which.  As the February 21st closing date approached they became aware that they did not have it and so could not meet that deadline.  They asked for a week's extension to Feb 28th, which we signed off on, even though we had driven down to Florida for the Feb 21st closing.  On Feb 28th they still had not received it so they then asked for a new extension pushing the closing to March 28th. Silly us thought it was a "request." We gave them a March 20th extension thinking it would keep the pressure on them to find the damn paperwork.   Then we rescheduled our movers.  Yesterday we got notification from Fannie Mae (via our FL realtor) that they were not messing around on the March 28th date and if we did not sign a new agreement pushing the closing date to March 28th they would cancel the contract and we would be without a house.  As you can imagine we complied.  Lesson learned. 

Fannie Mae is in now charge of our lives.  Good to know.  Currently the tentative closing is March 28th.  Of course this is cutting it kind of close and we are hoping we do not have to reschedule the movers a third time.  Fannie Mae could still get that deed in lieu any day and the closing then could happen ASAP.  One never knows what will happen next and occasionally something good happens.  It is (not so) simple math.  Probability or something like that.  After all this trauma with buying and selling, when something good does happens it always feels so gloriously good.   Like Christmas.  Like the Cavalry arriving.  Like Mighty Mouse swooping down from the sky ("Here he comes to save the DAYYYYY!").  

We "took the weekend off" by going into deep denial mode, a mental vacation of sorts.  It helped.   Feeling a bit better today.   Almost time for a repair man to arrive.   Gotta go.

Stress

Friday was a huge stress day.  It was the first showing of our NYS house to prospective buyers.  Saturday there were two more!  We are happy that there is interest. We have cleaned and cleaned, organized, packed, de-cluttered, and hidden things away in the closets and pantry.  I am driving T crazy with my frenetic anxiety.  I made him wait while we were about to leave before the first viewing so I could quickly clean the toaster oven on our way out.  It caught my eye and begged to be cleaned.  You would have done the same thing if you saw how dirty it was.  Unless, of course, you are a man with your coat on and one foot already out of the door.  Anyone who has sold a house knows how disruptive this process is.  First of all, you have to leave the house and find someplace to go during the showing, all the while struggling to forget that strangers are back at your house judging your furniture and commenting on the ridiculous colors you painted the bedrooms.  Even when no showings are scheduled you cannot relax into comfortable self-indulgence because the house needs to stay clean.  I am trying to just let go and not care.  It is what it is. 

We have extensive flower gardens and the 1.6 acres are lovely in spring, summer, and fall.  They would be a big plus in selling this place if only people knew they were there.  Currently they are covered in at least a foot of snow and everything out back is gray and frozen.  My sister, ERB, suggested I leave out photos of the yard and flowers so prospective buyers can get some idea of the yard.  Thanks ERB.  It was fun putting a photo board together of the yard.  It felt like I was staging a wake for the gardens.  I guess I am, for me and mine.  Truthfully, it is easier for us to let go of this place in the winter because we cannot see what we are giving up.   As much as I will miss the Zone 5 flowers, I have to remind myself that the thrill of extreme gardening has been gone for a few years now.   We did that, and it is time to do something else.   Like figure out what can grow and thrive in Zone 9. 

Then we got a call from our Florida realtor telling us that the title company is having trouble with the deed on the house we are buying.  It will be resolved but they cannot guarantee it will be resolved by our scheduled closing date – which means it may have to be rescheduled.  We have already booked non-refundable air tickets to go down for the closing we have been expecting.  AND, we have booked the movers to move our stuff down two weeks after the originally scheduled closing.  Plus, our closing date was the absolute last day that the bank (the seller) was allowing.   What the hell?  

I am not a “go with the flow” kind of person.   I want to know exactly what is going to happen next.  OK – taking a deep breath now.   This, too, shall pass.

Still looking for that damn bright side…  Maybe living through this will enable me to reduce my time in Purgatory by a couple of days?  Maybe things will work out quickly and easily?  Stay tuned.

Buying, Moving, and Selling

BUYING:
It is likely we will actually buy the house we have an offer on in Florida.  The offer has been accepted.  An actual closing date is being proposed.   We have been pre-approved for the loan.   Now the fun (NOT!) begins.

We are having some more problems with the Florida house re-inspection.  Sheesh.  I hate those *$#@! bankers.   They did a half-assed job of fixing something from the previous inspection (which resulted in us walking away from this house the first time around, back in November - and, by God, don't think we won't do it again!).  Now we have to fight nearly the same fight all over again.   The house is a foreclosure and unfortunately the owners are not in the picture.  It is Fannie Mae and the bankers are in charge.  They do not seem to care one bit about the house and the damage they will do to it if they do not fix things correctly.  Soul-less, limited vision, greedy, liars, cheaters, blah, blah, blah.   I really cannot get started on this right now.  Will get back to you with more on that later - too fresh to talk about without filling me with anxiety and provoking a full-on rant attack.  And it hasn't been resolved one way or another yet.   Hopefully tomorrow.   

I hate, hate, hate this stuff.  It reminds me too much of work but without the authority I was used to.  Work was not personal, so I could make decisions and play hardball and feel like it was a fun game that was mine to win.  This, however, is my life.  And I cannot just make all the decisions on my own.  I have to compromise and present a united front with my husband/partner, T.  If you have ever been in a relationship with another human being you know that rarely do two people ever agree on everything.  Or maybe anything.  But certainly never on how to direct a negotiation.  The inherent differences between two people's tolerance for risk are all too clear when they have to come together as one unit in the midst of an external negotiation process.  The struggle for two people to compromise in order to present a united front is mindboggling!  Seriously, it gets complicated.  It would probably be easier if one of us was a passive type.  But no, we cannot even slow dance together because I am unable to follow his lead.  I am not kidding.  We were both managers for many years and we are both used to being in charge at work.  This "buying a home" thing is good experience for us to learn to compromise and share power and authority in our old age.   Finally, after 42 1/2 years together!  We are making headway - mostly because HE is a rational person.  I will be so happy when buying, moving, and selling are all behind us and we can get back to settling into retirement.  

MOVING:

We want to interview a couple of realtors for selling our old house in NYS and get a few estimates from movers for moving our stuff down to Florida.   We had one well known moving company come and give us an estimate last week - really liked the estimator and we think we got a good quote.   Either this is going to be the easy part of the relocation, or it simply has not progressed to the part of the moving process that will drive me crazy.

SELLING:
We have been de-cluttering like crazy, and packing slowly but surely.   We are also painting some rooms, replacing things, cleaning, and generally trying to get the house to look good.  We finally met with a realtor the other day.  He is the son of a friend, fairly new to the game, but middle-aged and reinventing himself as a realtor after a successful career in the construction business.  I like his energy and enthusiasm (and sheer joy), but will also call a second, more experienced realtor and compare their services.  The more established realtor is someone our daughter used when she and MV lived up north.  I will confess to a worry about the more established of the two being motivated to sell a funky old house like ours out in the boondocks.  This place will not represent a lot of money for a realtor, and I worry the more established one is used to a different clientele and a higher profit.  The newer one seems "hungry" to make some sales and create a reputation.  He also grew up in this neck of the woods and understands the "rural life" and the people inhabiting the area.  If red flags are popping up in your mind, please do not worry.  We still have an open mind.  Really.   :)