coming out of my shell

coming out of my shell

Wednesday, April 28, 2021

Drawing Cars, Really?

The watercolor class is long over, and I am struggling to keep drawing and painting. 

It's harder for me to draw now than when I was in my 20s. I do okay, but it has been a LONG time since drawing was a regular part of my routine! I'm less spontaneous, and feel like a draftswoman as I measure and erase. I assume I'll relax and regain confidence over time. I'll learn to interpret shapes rather than render them exact. That's when the real art will begin. For now, I'm simply developing skills. I've been here before, although it seems like that was in a different life. Getting back on a bicycle after 40 odd years was a whole lot easier.

I was looking at a FB group page featuring photos of cars from the 1940's and 1950's.  I can't stop looking at these cars. I'm in love with Chevy Bel Airs. I am definitely going to draw a certain 1956 Studebaker Golden Hawk. And I have a picture of a 1957 DeSoto Adventurer Convertible that knocks my socks off.  For me, that decade was the aesthetic heyday of car design.  

I'm going to draw a couple of these beauties and maybe learn a few things in the process. I've already learned the difference between 1955, 1956, and 1957 Chevy Bel Air's. I really never saw this new interest coming. I'm NOT a car person.  

Here's the photo of the DeSoto.  Ain't she a beaut?

Wednesday, April 21, 2021


Having visitors used to a big part of living in Florida. Sadly, the last time we had visitors was February 2020.

Until last week. A friend and his partner had been checking up on her mother in Tampa. They were driving back North, and stopped for brunch on the way. We were all vaccinated. Each of us has been quarantined, isolated, and bubble wrapped all this time. We decided to give it a shot.

What fun to chat live with people outside our small Florida family for a change. We cleaned the house! I even cut fresh flowers for the table. Oh yes, I thought. I remember this. Civilization!

After my last post insisting I was a deprived extravert, I found myself struggling with "chit chat" when confronted with friendly, talkative people. I have been living in my own mind for too long, I found it hard to pay attention to what others were saying. I couldn't find the creative well that allows me to banter and jest. Witty repartee? Not when you are no longer quick witted. It will come back, but it may take some practice.  

Both Tom and I had to take a nap afterwards.  

I am surprised how much has gone by the boards this past year.

Thursday, April 15, 2021

What about me? What about you?

I write this blog to answer questions no one asks me. My post-retirement life is filled with introverts. Believe me, they are NOT asking me questions.  

Still, for some reason I'm drawn to introverts. They are beautifully self-contained, have clear boundaries, and are super damn interesting. Yes, I've written about this before, but I want to revisit this subject. I have more to say. 

Introverts know I would gleefully upset the applecart. I would. And I'm not a linear thinker. I jump around. Naturally, introverts are wary around me. More to the point, they don't trust me. Most of the time that's okay. I have enough trust for all of us. But sometimes, I get lonely.

In my wide-ranging birth family extraverts dominate, although we have a few introverts. When we get together, which is increasingly rare, there is non-stop laughter and teasing. Personal questions are asked! The introverts gravitate towards the other room to recharge their emotional batteries, or position themselves in places where they are far enough away to watch us at a safe distance. Us extraverts sit together in the kitchen, savoring the chaos and each other. 

I wonder if the introverts in my birth family feel lonely, misunderstood, and/or judged amidst our chaos? Because that's how I can sometimes feel amidst their order. It's confusing. How do we accommodate such different world views and personality types? How do we make everyone feel like they belong and are respected? I'm asking you this question.  

Not to change the subject (!). I could use a good laugh. I want a long, loud belly laugh from that measureless soul place, unfathomably bold and deep. I'd like to laugh so hard the terror of existence is scared away. Runs like Hell. Hides in the corner, cowering with fear. Let's consider laughter as an existential weapon. Gimme some a' that!

Damn this pandemic.