coming out of my shell

coming out of my shell

Sunday, May 28, 2017

Looking for change

When I was young I fancied myself an artist. After I became a mother, I lost my passion for art. Still, I always thought I would sketch and, perhaps, paint in retirement. So far, I have not.

Then I started working outside the home. I discovered I could be creative in other, non-visual ways. That was an eye opener! I made the most of those years, and I was fulfilled and satisfied in return. I loved working outside the home, and I learned so much about myself in the process.

Quilt design and hand work were my passion for a time. Unfortunately, my last job was a snake pit. I was there for the final 8 years of my work life. It was a problem solver's dream, but it was all consuming and left little energy for personal projects. When I was home I only wanted to rest and recover. I lost interest in quilting. I figured I would get back to it when I retired. Nope, not yet!


In NYS I was an absolute fiend for perennial gardening. Florida is not a perennial gardener's dream. I lowered my gardening expectations. I dabble now for color and ambiance. I am not "really" passionate about gardening in Florida. 


During the 40 years I worked outside the home I was passionate about my job. Work defined me. I am grateful for the jobs, and the people I worked with during those middle years. The role I played became who I was. I eventually lost my passion for the job, too. Then I retired. 

It was harder to retire than I anticipated. I kept thinking I was on vacation and would eventually go back to work. I came to realize this was no vacation; this was my life. Doing nothing became tedious. However, I did NOT want to go out and find a job. I needed to reinvent myself.

Now I write here. I also started contributing to a new feminist blog collective (more on that another time). I continue to moderate for
a large, political Facebook group which is part of the great political awakening of women in the U.S. since that unfortunate election. Becoming politically involved has been a game changer for me in retirement.

We moved to Florida to become a meaningful part of our grandchildren's lives. We gave up home, jobs, gardens, and friends to move to a wild swing state filled with alligators and bugs.
I find grand parenting immensely satisfying. I also find myself loving Florida. It has all been worth the sacrifices.

Reinventing myself is fun. As long as I am lucky enough to wake up each morning, I have time and plenty of it. I still imagine one day I will thread the damn sewing machine, or sketch a still life. 

Let's go out in full glory, okay?




24 comments:

  1. Not to worry. Photography is starting to sneak in your life. Rest in the sunshine and let inspiration start to bubble inside you.

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    1. So true, Chilly. I AM a fiend for photography. And genealogy.I forgot about those things. I wish I would take an interest in cleaning...

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  2. I just love reading this and I needed your positive vibe. And your options.
    As the signs are getting more obvious every day that I may have to let go of my job, I do not want to spend my life watching netflix and feeling miserable.

    And now, more about that feminist blog!

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    1. You are going to find ways to fill your life that you have not dreamed of before. Not working is a great gig! Now you get to work for yourself.

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  3. I do believe you have defined life. Grab it and go.

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  4. Take an interest in cleaning and I'm driving down to Florida and personally shake you til your teeth fall out of your head.

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  5. I am retired and thoroughly enjoying myself. After working for more than 50 tears I like not having to report to work every day. If I want to go somewhere I go. If I want to do something I do it. And If I simply want to do nothing I do that too.

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    1. Every day is a pleasure. I am happy to hear you enjoy retirement, too.

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  6. I am trying to catch up reading blogs because I have missed it. I went back through your back posts. I enjoyed reading about your great-grand mothers and grand-mothers and loved their pictures. Your pictures of New York City were lovely – I missed not going back there this past year, or much of anywhere for that matter. It is not easy never being able to go out by myself anymore. Just realized that I have not spoken with a coherent human in 3 weeks! Writing my blog helps with the stress of being home with a human shell 24/7. Although by the evenings I am so drained mentally and physically that I usually just want to get to bed and read. Maybe once we move it will be easier since we will be downtown and even if I don’t speak with anyone often I’ll see them through the window. All your posts were fun to read.

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    1. I'm sorry for the stress you are under as a full-time caregiver. I can only imagine how hard that must be, and on so many levels. Blogging about it must help? Hope so. I look forward to reading about your upcoming move. It makes me happy that you like my posts. I love all the Bulloch Hall quilt photos on your recent posts. And...Bravo to France for electing the reasonable candidate!

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  7. You describe retirement perfectly! First day, wake up and wonder what am I going to do now? I didn't really start photography until I was retired, and then the blog came, and then learning the names of things I first started to see with my retired eyes. My new goal is to paint some flowers and a sun on our new front gate!

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    1. Thanks, Robin. It really seems like the you make the most of your days. I always look forward to one of your new posts with all those beautiful pictures. You should chronicle the painting project so we can see it from beginning to end.

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  8. I was a stay-at-home mom most of my life so my "retirement" is from being focused always on my children. We have five, oldest born in '72, youngest in '87, so I was ready! The empty nest only hits hard on holidays when I miss the buzz of having people around but, most of the time, I enjoy being able to do what I want, with a nod to the OC! Quilting is my creative outlet, and writing, though I need more discipline to do as much of that as I'd like. I too loved art and dabbled in various kinds but now - nada! I could tell you to sit down at that sewing machine, or pick up that paintbrush but I hardly have the right if I don't do it myself!

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    1. Actually, if you tell me to do that from time to time I may actually do it. I put up my sewing table and set up the sewing machine a few months ago when you said something to me about it! Ha!

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  9. Keeping a mind toward working something less than a 40+ hour work week, I'm trying to re-awaken my visual art, writing, and crafts now. So far, I'd say I have been about 20% successful.

    Blogging, photography, moderating, and being present in lives of your grandchildren all sound like the makings of a pretty busy, if not full, life.

    Each new day brings an opportunity to carve a new experience, hone a craft, or discover a talent.





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    1. It really does! I look forward to each day.

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  10. I too an interested in how my passions and interests are changing since retiring. And so great to have the time to explore them.

    On a side note - I hope you have found the time to schedule that mammogram ??

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    1. Whoops, well I have the doctor's script for it, and I PROMISE I'll call the imaging facility today. Thanks for the reminder. :)

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  11. Good to be one of the many witnesses to the creative ways in which you have reinvented yourself!

    Because of choices I made and life circumstances, I will likely be working for a living for the rest of my life. I unable to work for about 10 years due to issues related to trauma. During those years, I lived on what would have been my retirement funds. Fortunately, now I can work at home part-time, self-employed as a medical transcription editor, to supplement my modest income from Social Security. Although my free time is limited, I am learning to use it creatively. I view my paid work as community service -- ensuring that the medical records I edit are as accurate as possible and available as soon as possible to medical staff to facilitate patient care. Being self-employed gives me a great deal of freedom and flexibility.

    Grateful to be alive, too! So many in our generation, and those older than we are, continue to contribute through the positive actions we can take.

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    1. I had a sister who was a medical transcription editor for many years. She enjoyed the work, and learned quite a bit in the process. I am glad to hear you enjoy the freedom and flexibility of self-employment.It is intriguing. And yes, our generation continues to amaze. Well, some of us anyway. :)

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  12. It was so funny reading your blog this morning because I have the same thoughts. I would like to paint and quilt when I retire but perhaps that will not happen. I'm thinking if I truly did want to paint it would have happened already. I'm also a perfectionist so I'm thinking I wouldn't enjoy the ten years or so of learning and practice to get good enough to paint as I would like to:)

    I would like to make quilt for my children and grandchildren but wonder if it would even mean much to them. It would to me so I guess that's what matters.

    I want desperately to have more time to myself as I'm finding work is all there is right now and that's not a good balance for me. I'm not taking care of myself which isn't good. Just hard to find the time and I tend to put myself last on the list.

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    1. Sorry it took me so long to publish this, I was out of town for a few days. Put yourself first!!!!

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So, whadayathink?