coming out of my shell

coming out of my shell

Sunday, November 12, 2017

I'm no lady

I'm still thinking about snark and how it holds us back.  I think in the patriarchal past "ladies" have had to resort to snark and innuendo. We have been so controlled by appearance and approval seeking that we could not be direct. How many of us even reveal our personalities to all but our closest friends?  I know more than a few cases where women have not revealed their real personalities to their husbands or boyfriends for fear they will not be liked.  These poor "ladies" live their whole lives in disguise. 

But this is the new world order. Now we need to to learn to act like Women, not like Ladies. We need to redefine what being a woman is. Being a woman means being courageous, direct, and passionate about our truths.  It means being more concerned with our presence than our appearance.  If we believe strongly in something we need to feel free to speak outright, in plain sight, without fearing how we will look or how others will judge us. 

Don't worry over much about being a lady.  Consider being a strong woman, instead.


27 comments:

  1. Yes. That is what we can do. Beautiful accompanying photograph. Light!

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  2. Love this. Some people have done it so long they are clueless who they are. They are unable to hold a compelling conversation or maintain a meanful friendship. I have acquaintances who can speak of nothing but the kids and family. Life is meant to be grabbed and felt and experienced for ourselves. Not though someone else.

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  3. Trump exposed us. Rage is a good thing. For eons we have been the good woman behind the good man. To hell with that. We always have been responsible for success, now we are stepping out and demanding acknowledgement. It's a slog back from this year's setback, but women are in the vanguard.

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    1. Yes, we are! Now the DNC needs to realize that, respect us, engage us, or get out of our way. We're not going back.

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    2. https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/the-real-scandal-the-dnc-should-avoid/2017/11/10/ab025722-c570-11e7-84bc-5e285c7f4512_story.html?utm_term=.e85d39a6b0dd

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    3. I read this. I read it all now. Thanks.

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  4. "It means being more concerned with our presence than our appearance." That is a great truth. You have inspired me today.

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  5. It's a pity it has taken women of our generation so long to realise they have worth beyond the approval of men. Better late than never. Our daughters, having grown up in a different time, are a force to be reckoned with, not having to wait until the second half of life to find their voices.

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    1. I love hearing that about our daughters' generation. They really do seem more confident.

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  6. Being nice, being a good girl is something that rules my life. I am trying so hard to break free.

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    1. That's a tough one, and something most of us have to deal with. In the 1970's I went to assertiveness training workshops where they taught the difference between being aggressive (not nice or good) and being assertive (nice and good). So you can still be nice and good and speak up as long as you do it in a way that you can feel good about. Personally, I find I can get away with saying SO much if I do it with a smile on my face. :)

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    2. By the way, Birdie, I think you are wonderful.

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  7. I too, love that line "It means being more concerned with our presence than our appearance." So well said.

    My daughter has no problem whatsoever revealing her true personality straight out from the very beginning. I watch her example and it makes me feel like I can do that too. I've learned a lot from her. But when I tell her that, she says she learned it from me -- I have no idea how. I honestly think she was just born that way. More power to her.

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    1. I enjoy the blog posts you write about your wonderful daughter. I bet she DID learn it from you. More power to YOU, too.

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  8. I agree, definitely be a strong woman. It ain't easy, but it's absolutely the way to live whole and true.

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    1. Starting with being whole and true to ourselves. There's more than one way to be right and strong. The variety of strong types is the best part.

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  9. Just another benefit of being queer - never did I feel I needed the approval of men. It brings a certain self reliance and confidence to life which I hope was also an example for my very straight daughters.

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  10. I am woman, hear me roar . .

    Indeed.

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    1. Even a loud and pointed "meow" would work. :)

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  11. Hello Colette, I am a first-time visitor to your blog who stopped in from Emma's Leaves on My Tree blog. I've spent some time looking around and enjoyed some of your earlier posts and plan to return again. And, I feel that being strong also means standing up for oneself all the time.

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    1. Welcome, Beatrice. I look forward to exploring your blog as well. Cheers!

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  12. Yes and yes and yes. I remember a quote by Sudan Griffin:

    "We are the bird's eggs. Bird's eggs, flowers, butterflies, rabbits, cows, sheep; we are caterpillars; we are leaves of ivy and sprigs of wallflower. We are women. We rise from the wave. We are gazelle and doe, elephant and whale, lilies and roses and peach, we are air, we are flame, we are oyster and pearl, we are girls. We are woman and nature."

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So, whadayathink?