coming out of my shell

coming out of my shell

Saturday, December 9, 2017

Introverts

I am not an introvert. However, I have lived with one for 47 years, I bore and raised one, and I have many close friends and lifelong influences who are introverts. 

I'm not sure how they can stand me. I suspect they often can't. I'm fluid and potentially explosive, like gasoline. I once talked so much with so many different people over the course of a few days that I started to lose my voice, but I kept on talking. I like to change my mind, and I get a rush from making last minute decisions that throw caution to the wind. I am usually up for a double dog dare, and I have been known to be the life of the party. 

When T and I travel, the first thing I want to do upon arrival is go out and do something; before I even unpack!  T wants to take a nap and recover from traveling. At parties, I am all over the place and I like to stay late. T wants to leave early. It is a conundrum. However, we love each other. Over the years we adapted when we could, or did things alone when we couldn't. It works for us. Building relationships with introverted friends is harder.

Introverts don't necessarily trust extroverts. Extroverts are unpredictable, making introverts nervous. It is kind of like a cat trying to be friends with a puppy. I get it.

When I started to date my husband, my mother said "Why can't you go out with someone normal for a change?"  I replied, "Because if crazy people don't spend time with other crazy people, they will start to think they ARE crazy." Same goes for extroverts. In a life dominated by introverts I sometimes have to remind myself it is okay to be like me. 

It's okay for friends to be different from each other, right?

24 comments:

  1. Whenever I take the Meyers-Briggs test, I fall right in the middle between introversion and extroversion. I love solitude and quiet, and although I'm not at all shy and can talk to anyone, after hours spent with other people I have to have time to myself to recharge and regroup. Very extroverted people exhaust me after a while.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I understand. Sometimes I exhaust myself! I actually enjoy being surrounded by introverts most of the time because they are calming. But when I want to go out and raise hell, I'm going to call an extrovert! :)

      Delete
  2. I love extroverts. They make my life so much easier as long as they respect my boundaries. I despise walking in my front door and finding unexpected quests. I love going to parties and watching my partner engage with EVERYONE and allow me to chime in at my leisure. I hate sitting at tables where conversation is forced but love that my partner is NEVER at a loss for words.

    All that being said, the other introverts in my life sometimes have problems with my gregarious, life of the party partner.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is fun being with a partner who is so different from you. Keeps thing interesting. It has been a real struggle for me to learn about other people's boundaries. But I am aware of that, and I try hard to be respectful. Sometimes it is important for me to be around other extroverts just so I can let down my hair and be outrageous.

      Delete
  3. I'm not an extrovert, though I am good for most any double dog dare. I revel in knowing what people "are", and what it means to me and the world. I cherish people who know what they are, and use it. My friend Ann once confirmed my remark she is on earth to help people. But she said, "How did you know that?" and I almost answered "the same way you know that." I find friends tend to rise to my expectations. Geeze louize, there are a lot of people in DC who never will be my friend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha. You are a very special and unique person, Joanne. Perceptive as hell.

      Delete
  4. I love this. And I love you. ❤️

    ReplyDelete
  5. I am an introvert. I would rather stay home than socialize. I would rather go for a quiet walk and watch birds than have a conversation. That being said, when we do go out and have dinner with family and/or friends I have a good time. I just can't wait to go home!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am an introvert that needs a fair amount of time alone to recharge. But I love this post because so many extroverts imply that there is something wrong with me because I like to be alone. I have been shamed for years by certain extroverts in my life. You, an extrovert, can see that both are okay and need to be honoured. Thank you for that!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My great pleasure. It takes all kinds to make the world go 'round. I actually gravitate towards introverts.

      Delete
  7. I am a pseudo extrovert. At work I am outgoing and funny. In real life I am quiet and shy in large gatherings like the Christmas party last night. It's weird. But I do need to be alone to recharge my batteries.

    ReplyDelete
  8. My mother was an introvert while my father was an extrovert. I took after my father. Differences keep life interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  9. That is so interesting. I always think of myself as an introvert. I'm like Birdie. I like to spend time alone, a lot of it, and I hate it when people try to shame me for that. But I'm also very much like you. Except for the explosive thing (I take medication that..haha) and the double dog dare, I do everything else that you do.

    My best friend and I just had a marathon 2 1/2 hr. conversation on the phone, which is normal for use and the same with another friend - we all love it! When traveling, my first thought is - OK, let's go explore!

    I guess I'm a little bit of both...but then, I'm a Gemini :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. It really is a great match, the introvert and the extrovert.
    Imagine how boring life would have been if you were both introverts and how difficult and noisy if you were both extroverts.

    I think I am a pretend extrovert, I can keep the conversation going nicely, I can be social and all that but I don't give away too much in public. It's difficult and in recent years I have started to enjoy being more introvert. Not easy but it has its advantages. Less work for a start.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have become a little more introverted since I retired and moved to Florida where I have no friends who are extroverts. I am totally surrounded by introverts and I'm taking on their ways more and more. Except for my 5 yr old grandson. I think he's going to be like me. It is nice to have someone else in the family who is like me.

      Delete
  11. I am an introvert who has always lived with extroverts. They say that opposites attract but I think it's more that life always seeks balance.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like that! I'm quite happy to have an introverted spouse for that very reason.

      Delete
  12. Another introvert here, filled with hope that there is an extrovert out there raising cain and looking for me to balance. ;-)

    ♥ this post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This makes me smile. I'm hoping that for you, too. We extroverts are a a lot to handle, but we are well worth the anxiety we provoke. Or at least I tell myself that. :)

      Delete

So, whadayathink?