coming out of my shell

coming out of my shell

Sunday, May 3, 2020

I'm going to have to think more about this

Is there something wrong with me? I'm enjoying this time of social distancing and staying at home with my husband. I am virtually anxiety free and feel like this is the most important vacation I've ever been on.  What if the world was slower, quieter, and simpler?

This feeling of contentment is new for me.  I'm not sure if it is good or bad. I wonder if it will last once the quarantine ends? I'm going to have to think about this before I write more. 

And P.S., I'm sure I'd feel differently if I was alone.  



31 comments:

  1. I've been having some of those same feelings. My husband and I keep reminding each other to notice all this wonderful time off spent together, because soon enough (I'm sure) life will get back to "normal".

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    1. He's right. What is so interesting is how this "not normal" time reveals how truly frenetic and unhealthy what "normal" can be.

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  2. I think many of us feel the enjoyment of downtime along with the frustration of TOO MUCH downtime! I certainly enjoy it on some level, but the pervasive undercurrent of dread is a downer. (To say the least.)

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  3. It does help to be in a couple. But I am also mostly enjoying the slowed pace and the increased time at home.

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    1. I will probably get sick of it in time, but for now it suits me fine. Except for not seeing my grandkids.

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  4. I mostly live this way anyway. I have a place to live at the very edge of a very small town. No traffic, minimal noise from neighbors, and oh so peaceful. I have been utterly content here for 10 years now. I would hate to have to go back to city living.

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    1. I definitely think "peaceful" when I think of you. Your life sounds idyllic.

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  5. I, too, am adapting surprisingly well. I prefer this slow go. And yet, as Steve said , there is an undercurrent of anxiety, not knowing, dread...Stay well and I am so glad you are not alone.

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    1. I'm trying to ignore the dread, but it is definitely still there.

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  6. I am more anxious than you, Colette, but I can agree that my slower pace life is something I should try to continue! Have you seen this thoughtful video? https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=925284527912453
    Makes you wonder about "normal" times.

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    1. I have not, will view it soon. Many thanks, Ellen.

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  7. I would like more time at home. I'm still working. Sigh.

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  8. The generally relaxed feeling I am experiencing does feel new. Thank you for expressing the idea of a new feeling.

    This unusual time has gradually brought unexpected healing, clarity and renewal for me paired with increasing awareness that others are experiencing various degrees of the opposite. Although I live alone, I have lived alone for a long long time while enjoying what for me is a full social life. What I didn't realize is that my social life brought with it a level of social anxiety that is absent now! While I loved getting together with other people on a daily basis in person, I am averse to Zoom meetings as an alternative to meeting in person with groups of people. The absence of the vital social dimension of the warmth of physical presence doesn't sit well with me. I'm willing to wait until we can all meet again in the same room and hug each other.

    I am fortunate to live in a small town where I have access to a variety of wide walking trails and am not confined to my home. While I was walking this morning, it occurred to me that most walkers I have encountered in all my years of walking naturally practice social distancing. We tended to greet each other with friendly hellos and continue walking. If we stopped to talk, it was not at an intimate distance. Six feet seems just about right for talking to someone whose name one does not know and who is only known in the context of walking (-:

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    1. I'm happy to hear you are doing well. I am a life long walker, and I know what you mean about other walkers. I love the time I spend walking.

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  9. Our lives haven't changed that much except it feels completely different. It's a bit surreal having to face this pandemic with such a crazy lunatic at the helm.

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    1. Oh man! So true. We have GOT to come together as a movement and get out the vote in November so he can be voted out.

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  10. It's interesting, watching happy, older couples emerging, And younger ones, too, judging by Jennifer. It's a pleasing result of two months of isolation.

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    1. I worry about the women and children who are feeling like captives of abusive men.

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  11. There's a certain relief to it, but I feel an enormous existential dread, too.

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    1. Yeah, I am not discounting the existential dread. It's real and it is always there. I'm just feeling calmer and less anxious than I have, well, maybe ever. This weekend might have been the last of it, because here in Florida our ridiculous governor has decided to start reopening the state today.

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  12. It happens to people who have unparalleled intellectual resources (or who are totally inert). Take your pick.

    Me? I took the road less travelled. I can sing myself to sleep (Wiegenlied) or I can sing myself awake (Fairest Isle); I can pretend I do opera (O Isis und Osiris) or that I'm thirsty (Drink to me Only). And it's a great way of disguising the fact my German's not so hot (Der Lindenbaum). I'm as happy as Larry. Hadn't you noticed?

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    1. "I'm as happy as Larry" had me stumped. I googled it. "It originates from a boxer called Larry Foley in the 1890s, before boxing was fully legalised. He won the biggest prize of about $150,000 dollars and a newspaper article in New Zealand had the headline “Happy As Larry” and the phrase stuck." Interacting with you is sometimes like going on a scavenger hunt for words and phrases. Always fun!

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  13. Happy scavenging. I do even better. All the blogs I comment on are written by people whose education is superior to mine. Some of it is bound to rub off. Even at 84 I'm not too old to discover that verbs are "doing words".

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  14. Agreed. My life is almost the same and I love working from home. The man is itching somewhat, garden centers etc.

    The daughter video calls almost too often. But I get her point. We have little hope of real visits for the foreseeable future. The grandchild thinks we live in a smartphone. It's actually quite lovely but exhausting.

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    1. I'm glad to hear the daughter keeps you involved in your grandchild's life. It is hard to relax into a video call, but it is certainly better than nothing.

      Garden centers. It is too cruel to have to endure a long winter and a global pandemic, and then to be deprived the joys of the gardening season.

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  15. I'm so glad that you're feeling contentment in the Change, because it is likely to be a lasting Change and the more content we can be about that the better, I would imagine. There is definitely an up side to slowing down, spending quality time together, that could be absent when things were hectic and all of the busyness of Life consumed so many. I'm rather enjoying sleeping whenever I want or need to, tho' I have been gripped with Pandemic Anxiety and Insomnia, due to the Medical Fragility of our entire household making it scary to have to go out for anything at all and be around people who could be infected. I think the Earth has Healed some while Mankind Paused and was forced Indoors, which is a definite Positive, poor Mother Nature and her Creatures needed the Respite.

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    1. I took a two hour nap the other day, which is unheard of for me. It felt like a sinful pleasure.

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  16. Me too (and Jenny). We're free of all the usual stresses associated with being in the outside world, like slow and crowded buses, full-up coffee shops, slow service in restaurants, unhelpful shop assistants etc. We can just potter around the house enjoying all our favourite activities to our hearts' content. Or sit outside in the sunshine.

    But I feel sorry for those who're not so fortunate, who've lost their jobs, have huge debts and are tearing their hair out wondering how to keep going.

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So, whadayathink?