coming out of my shell

coming out of my shell

Thursday, March 1, 2018

Love hurts

My daughter, M, texted me that little N cried and screamed for her at the kindergarten school's door this morning. Teachers had to hold him back so he wouldn't grab on to her. She is heartsick, and so am I. 

My sincere hope is that he bounced back quickly once she left. It happens. My rational mind knows all is fine, but my heart aches for this little 6 year old boy who wants to stay home and play. I can't help it.


Love really does hurt sometimes, especially when it comes to loving children.








27 comments:

  1. Although I have no children of my own, I clearly remember what it feels like to be a child and my heart goes out to N and all children and all their mothers and fathers and grandmothers and grandfathers, back to the beginning of love. That is such an evocative photograph to accompany your words.

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    1. Yes, "back to the beginning of love." Thanks for your kind words about the photo. It looked just like I felt.

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  2. Tomorrow I hope to hear little N had a glorious day, and all about it.

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    1. Joanne - he had a good day. All is well with the world. :)

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  3. That is so sad. Has he always cried when she leaves, or is this new behavior? I hope something can be worked out so he feels comfortable and not so sad when she leaves.

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    1. He doesn't usually cry. She's a good Mom, tho. I'm sure she's on it. This too shall pass - right?

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  4. My oldest boy had trouble parting from me from very early up until 4rd grade on occasion. I wish I had been more aware of his needs and less inclined to tell him to "buck up" with, if not my words, definitely my actions. Hind sight is 20/20. Some kids just need more assurance than others.

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  5. So true. In one of my former lives, I was a nursery school teacher. We often had children that cried because they missed their parents. It is hard on these little guys (it happened much more with boys), but they always calmed down (eventually), and went back to playing. Sometimes all they needed was assurance from a parent and the teacher.

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    1. Good to know. I'm picking him up today, so I'm counting the minutes. Interesting that it happened more with boys. Why do you think that is?

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  6. Poor little N. I remember taking my oldest to school on the first day. He soon had the whole room screaming. They all got over it.

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    1. He got over it, too. Today was my day to pick him up from school and he was just fine.

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  7. They tug at your heartstrings but bounce back so quickly that we feel badly long after they're completely over it. I do recall those times tho', they could be very theatrical about us leaving... ha ha ha.

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    1. Yes, I believe the entire school was aware of it. Ha.

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  8. That hurts. In hindsight and being realistic and all, I know that he willbe/was ok but I admit that when this happened with my daughter I could not walk away. Too afraid to be a bad parent? Guilty.

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    1. Yes, even though it all turned out just fine (he was happy when I picked him up from school yesterday), his mother says she will never forget his pleas. Love hurts.

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  9. They say there is no Love without pain. The worst there can be of that pain is the sorrow of an innocent child and the best that can be is the joy of that innocent child.

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  10. World War Two was beginning; I didn't realise what that meant, only that adults talked seriously among themselves. But then they always did. And now I was being left in this uncaring place, theoretically among my peers but why was everyone staring at me: a mixture of curiosity and contempt? I cried a lot as a child so this loneliness demanded more than just crying. I ached in my stomach, a physical expression of what I felt. Tears and snot. Standing alone, in a circle formed by the teacher and the kids, I dimly imagined that nothing would ever be the same again. And though I wasn't to know it, nothing ever would be the same.

    The teacher became decisive. Her voice took on a note of authority, a sound that was plague me throughout the whole of my mercifully short school years. Firm voices that singled me out and told me to do things, but without any great expectation.

    "Roderick doesn't want to join in. I think we'll just leave him here to cry."

    For children time inches along. I was about five at the time and if someone had told I would be free of school for ever in ten years' time it would have meant nothing. But when it arrived, when I knew I would no longer have to sit and be lectured to by some meaningless adult, ah the bliss. That my education could finally begin among people who wanted to do what I wanted to do. And have done, ever since.

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    1. Poignant and beautiful story, Roderick. Thank you for sharing that. I don't understand why some teachers are so cold and unfeeling when it comes to children, and especially little boys.

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  11. My eldest daughter had one kindergarten aged episode like that. I felt like an abusive parent forcing her onto the bus. We never learned what the problem was but she loved school from that day forward. It looks like things have already turned around for your grandson. A blessing for both of you.

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    1. Thanks, 8thday! I think my daughter felt the same way (abusive parent) the other morning. She was not, but these things tend to stay with us. Right and wrong is so hard to determine when your heart hurts.

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  12. Those early years are hard. I remember them well. Thankfully, they don't (much). ;-)

    Glad your little guy is better.

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  13. Every new kindergartner goes through that trauma, don't they? It's just a fact of life! I'm sure he'll be fine, which doesn't make the tears any easier to face, I'm know.

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    1. I remember crying in kindergarten, and pretending I was sick. I just wanted to be home with my mother.

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So, whadayathink?