I have said this before, being able to enjoy the morning is perhaps the greatest joy of retirement. I find the experience evolving as I become more comfortable being less productive. It is now less a stolen pleasure and more an important part of my day.
If I can remember my dreams, I try and pay attention to what my unconscious mind was trying to tell me during the night. Unfortunately, I don't often remember my dreams. Too bad, because they can be quite informative. If only our unconscious minds could learn to speak English instead of Symbol, right?
I am now at my most mindful and self-aware in the morning. This is a huge change from my working years when mornings were spent on autopilot. It took me at least a year to figure out what to do with my mornings in retirement. I'm getting the hang of it, but for some reason I am still not "happy" once I get out of bed in the morning. Is this because of habit, guilt, or chemical imbalance? I don't understand. I am a reasonably happy person. I just can't get get rid of the morning blues. It takes a cup of coffee or three before I let my shoulders down.
I'm curious, does anyone over 7 years old wake up feeling like a million dollars? I use 7 as the cut off point because that's when the Catholic Church decided a child reached the age of reason, and I suspect reason is what obliterates joy. Actually, I think 5 might be a better age. Kids grow up faster these days.
Well, I normally wake up happy. Sometimes I wake up very happy. Bizarre, isn't it? Still need the coffee to get moving, though.
ReplyDeleteYou've always been a happy person! I blame your Protestant upbringing on that. Love.
DeleteThe way I wake up depends on whether I have slept well or been restless. If I have slept well, I wake up energized. Otherwise I wake up agitated and not ready for the day to begin at all.
ReplyDeleteThat seems reasonable.
DeleteI think some people are honestly morning people, and some are not. I've never had a problem getting up I usually feel good in the mornings. I DO require coffee, though, and I value that quiet time (when I usually blog!) before I get moving for the day.
ReplyDeleteThat could be it for me. I always thought of myself as a night person, never a morning person, until I retired.
DeleteOne gift that surviving cancer gave me was the deep appreciation of waking up each day. But a good trick is to smile as soon as you wake up - whether you feel like it or not. It really does change one's attitude. Then a brief list of gratitudes and a "thank you" and I'm ready to face the day.
DeleteThanks 8thday!
DeleteI usually coerce myself into a state of happiness ( or at least contentedness). It takes some reading and positive thinking but I can get there many days.
ReplyDeleteI wish I was naturally one of those people who bounce out of bed in the morning. But some of us have to work at it. And so work on it I shall.
DeleteYou do not say you wake up unhappy. If you are unhappy maybe an enjoyable activity like reading or watching television or bird watching. It may just take you more time. My youngest sister actually growls if you are pleasant to her before she has completely woken. If you are just not happy yet take a little more time. You have plenty now. That is what I do.
ReplyDeleteI am a little like your sister, ha! I'm not unhappy, just grumpy and anxious. It gets better as I get up and do things, like you refer to above. My younger sister (Baby Sister) is notorious for waking up happy as a clam, and singing.
DeleteI deal with Diurnal Mood Variation which makes every morning difficult.
ReplyDeleteInteresting...
DeleteI've never really considered this.When I was growing up, unhappy in the morning was not an option. Then I had children, and realized being pleasant in the morning affected everyone's mood. Then I did it to grandchildren: "Good Morning!", with a big smile. It's always been an attitude, not a mood. I couldn't imagine anything else.
ReplyDeleteAn attitude,not a mood. I'm going to have to think about this a while. I do hear what you are saying about having children and teenagers in the house. They are always affected by the people around them.
DeleteMostly, I wake up with the awareness that I get another chance. The new day is another chance. To learn, to love, to live in this amazing world.
ReplyDeleteAnd then I snap out of that and go make coffee :)!
Big smile.
DeleteOon most days, to realise that I no longer have to get up, that's enough to make me at least feel good. That and nobody complaining about me still not up or still not being dressed properly - childhood trauma sits deep.
ReplyDeleteI don't mind being grumpy at times, better settle things early on, while you are still wearimng the dressing gown, nursing your cuppa.
We are so much a product of our upbringing and routines. After over four years in retirement, I'm still adjusting to this luscious freedom. I'm still wondering if I'm in charge of my moments, and fearful that I may not really own my time. I need to get over that. It is absurd.
DeleteI usually wake up pretty cheerful, but my husband is the opposite. He's so irritable some mornings that I'm sure I'd drive him crazy if I didn't just leave him strictly alone for about an hour. :)
ReplyDeleteHa! My husband and I rarely speak in the morning except to greet each other with a "Good morning, my love" or some such endearment. It takes at least an hour for each of us to become fully human each morning. You are wise (and kind) to give him that time to come around. I wish I was more like you, though. I would love to wake up cheerful.
DeleteI thought of this song from our youth:
ReplyDelete"... Remember the feeling as a child
When you woke up and morning smiled
It's time its time its time you felt like that again ..."
(Written by Carol King and Gerry Goffin. I like Taj Mahal's version of "Take Giant Step" best)
I do remember than feeling!
And this is how it is for me now. I live alone, except for my cat, Oboe. My bedtime is between 6:30 and 8 p.m. In the past year, I bought one of those old style wind-up alarm clocks with the ringer than goes back and forth between two bells. It reminds me of my younger days in the best of ways. For years, I have been wearing ear plugs when I sleep because I am easily awakened by sounds. I set the alarm for 4 a.m. and put the clock on the desk in my bedroom. When the alarm sounds (and it is loud!), I have to get out of bed to turn it off. Once I am out of bed, I stay out of bed. If I have had a dream, I write it down. I don't drink coffee, but I swallow the caffeine tablet equivalent of 1 cup of coffee with water. I drink two cups of water, feed Oboe, and go out on my porch to listen and look into the night or pre-dawn sky. I always hope to see stars. Currently, I am hearing the Canada Geese waking up at 4 a.m. By that time, the caffeine has taken effect, and I feel happy. Almost as happy as a child.
I found that if I don't set the alarm, and I wake up on my own, I pretty much always wake up with negative thoughts that lead me to want the oblivion of sleep rather than to want to get up. I seem to be be able to bypass the negative thoughts and the morning blues by getting out of bed immediately upon awakening and using caffeine, with an emphasis on the use of caffeine!
I love 4 a.m. That's when I feel at my best. It doesn't work for me to go to bed later and get up later. I used to work nights at a hospital and sleep until around noon. I found that I feel much better getting up as early as possible. There is something about the peace and quiet of waking at 4 a.m. and being there for the early morning hours. I do much of my blogging, email writing, and creative work in those hours, along with my yoga practice and meditation.
If by some chance, the alarm doesn't go off, I will hear Oboe meowing outside my bedroom door. She is on the same schedule I am. She sits outside my door, waiting for 4 a.m. because she knows I will open the door and pick her up and then feed her.
It's not like a million dollars, but it's good enough (-:
I am in awe of how you have taken charge of the morning. Very disciplined! It is the direct opposite of how I approach getting up, ha. I don't think I could stand hearing the alarm go off every morning again; however, I quite admire your approach to the morning. I envy you the 4 a.m. peace of mind. Thanks for the song lyrics, they are perfect for this post. I guess that's what I want, to wake up feeling the innocent joy and anticipation of a child. Once we've eaten from that certain tree imparting the knowledge of good and evil, it's hard to recover our innocence, tho. Maybe impossible.
DeleteThinking about your thoughtful comment, it occurred to me that I am in an ongoing process of finding a new joy and a new anticipation while acknowledging the real difficulties that are so present in our lives.
DeleteThinking about your thoughtful comment, it occurred to me that I am in an ongoing process of finding a new joy and a new anticipation while acknowledging the great difficulties that are so present in our lives.
When I am described as disciplined, there is always an experience of surprise for me (-:
In my mind, to be disciplined is to make oneself do something unpleasant or difficult or challenging because of the pressure of some authority, be that authority positive or negative.
I don't see myself as taking charge but rather as realizing that I am engaging in a process of gradually discovering what it is that I really find joy in doing when I wake up in the morning. My intention is to be flexible and curious as the morning unfolds.
I deeply appreciate the issues you bring up in your posts and am grateful to have discovered your blog through Sabine's blog.
Thank you, am. I am delighted to have found you, too.
DeleteI hate waking up to an alarm clock. On my days off I love laying in bed, doing nothing, for about ten minutes. It's nice to not have to rush, to not have to be ready or be someplace. When Katie lived at home mornings were so stressful. I could hear her feet hit the floor in her bedroom and I knew the day had started and it would continue until she went to bed. I didn't like that noise, made my whole body tense up.
ReplyDeleteAnd no I don't wake up feeling like a million dollars. I have arthritis now, everything kinds of aches. And when I stand up my feet kill me because if have plantar fasciitis.
I'm with you on the alarm clock. The noise just makes me angry. Having dependent children in the house was such a commitment of time and energy. I can't imagine how much more complicated that would be with a special needs child. I can imagine your whole body tensing up. Mornings as a parent or a working person (and especially for one who was/is both) are SO stressful. I think that's what I still contend with in the morning, my body and mind are still programmed to feel that stress. I need to find a way to let it go and relieve myself of the burdens of my youth. I'm sorry for your aches, those are some nasty ailments.
DeletePhew, 26 comments already and I haven't yet started. I'll allow you your sparkling mornings, since I share them. I have written much fiction plus many rubbishy Shakespearean-format sonnets between 06.25 and 09.00 in the past. Now the rack of sciatica and a bout of infected coughing (which I have sadly passed on to VR, my wife) are interfering with my productivity. This comment will be a struggle, I suspect.
ReplyDeleteIt's a big question. Could I have written "I am a reasonably happy person." and meant it? I think not. Might I be the wrong nationality? Perhaps.
But, you may say, I'm entitled not to be happy, ever conscious of time's wingèd chariot and of that bourne from which no traveller returns. But I've known both since I was five and it isn't them. Nor am I steam-rollered by the world's grievousness. Plus - since I seem to be in a WS frame of mind - it is possible to cast DT as Lear's Fool, but having caught Lear's madness.
Happiness is an American aim. It is unpatriotic not to pursue it. It is not surprising that you enjoy this state. I am even wrestling with the possibility that between 1966 and 1972 (Pittsburgh - Philadelphia - Pittsburgh) I may have been temporarily happy - after all I had central heating and I enjoyed a strange professional niche in a generous society. Not now though. So am I "reasonably miserable" and are there others of my ilk here in this tight little island so keen to commit marine suicide?
The problem is it's so fashionable - always has been - to claim not to be happy. Think of the great literary characters - Hamlet, Captain Ahab, Pierre Bezukhov - all of them gnawed by the maggot of doubt. Might being British be shorthand for being a snob? Many of your fellow-countrypeople believe so. Should I be allowed to flit the pond and preach despondency in someone else's backyard?
I knew it would be a struggle and so it has proved.
"Reasonably happy" does allow for a certain amount of angst. I'm still hedging my bets here... The thought of living my life like some of the great literary characters you mention makes me want to throw up. The anxiety would kill me. The pursuit of happiness isn't particularly romantic, but it is a worthy goal. However, I feel comfortable living in doubt. I surrender to doubt.
DeleteI know the British have a certain reputation for snobbery, but I think it is an unfair stereotype. The French can be worse. Just kidding, kind of. Well, maybe not. But anyway, when I think of European small minded snobbery, I don't think of the British. I think of entrenched class systems. Those barriers are everywhere, even in the U.S. I do believe that each society has its own informing traits, but when I think of England, I think of a certain strength of character.
I am so sorry about your sciatica. I hate to think of you enduring that kind of relentless pain.