It is always interesting when the same topic pops up all over the place and becomes a pattern or a theme. Anger has been discussed and/or displayed on a number of different, unrelated blogs lately, and people are going nuts with angry rants on social media.
Perhaps it's happening because it is February and cabin fever is getting to people? Or maybe because politics are so disrespectfully infuriating and in-our-face right now? Who knows? I don't. I only know anger is out there in full force and it gives me pause.
This post is going to be about anger but I want to be clear. I am not writing about your anger, that's your business. I am writing about my own.
I'm a bit of a hot head. I have a short fuse. However, I try to tread lightly around anger because I like it too much. I am not referring to bad temper, annoyance, or crankiness. Those things are interesting as well, but are not really "anger" in my book. I am thinking specifically about the kind of anger that is a reaction against an injustice. You know, the kind of anger that turns red hot and makes smoke come out of your ears?
Anger is complex. It can also be comforting and seductively familiar. I could easily get stuck in an angry loop. I totally get that. However, being rip-snorting mad always makes me feel like crap once I come back down to earth. I wish I could learn to manage my emotions better so my anger could work for me instead of against me.
Please note I said "manage" and not "eliminate." Anger definitely has its place. I think of it like the good china, or the good scotch. You only bring it out when the situation warrants and absolutely nothing else will do.
Anger seems like the opposite of good, but it isn’t. Anger is an appropriate reaction to injustice. I mean, how is the universe going to hear us unless we yell really, really loud? Still, I don't want strong emotions to own me.
Perhaps it's happening because it is February and cabin fever is getting to people? Or maybe because politics are so disrespectfully infuriating and in-our-face right now? Who knows? I don't. I only know anger is out there in full force and it gives me pause.
This post is going to be about anger but I want to be clear. I am not writing about your anger, that's your business. I am writing about my own.
I'm a bit of a hot head. I have a short fuse. However, I try to tread lightly around anger because I like it too much. I am not referring to bad temper, annoyance, or crankiness. Those things are interesting as well, but are not really "anger" in my book. I am thinking specifically about the kind of anger that is a reaction against an injustice. You know, the kind of anger that turns red hot and makes smoke come out of your ears?
Anger is complex. It can also be comforting and seductively familiar. I could easily get stuck in an angry loop. I totally get that. However, being rip-snorting mad always makes me feel like crap once I come back down to earth. I wish I could learn to manage my emotions better so my anger could work for me instead of against me.
Please note I said "manage" and not "eliminate." Anger definitely has its place. I think of it like the good china, or the good scotch. You only bring it out when the situation warrants and absolutely nothing else will do.
Anger seems like the opposite of good, but it isn’t. Anger is an appropriate reaction to injustice. I mean, how is the universe going to hear us unless we yell really, really loud? Still, I don't want strong emotions to own me.
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| Quilt: Unresolved Emotional Themes |
I woke up this morning and heard the big news of the morning. I was very angry, then I felt ill.
ReplyDeleteMe, too.
DeleteUt oh, better not read my latest post then.
ReplyDeleteOutrage. It's something I'm quite familiar with; there are times when, in my opinion, outrage is the only sane reaction to an increasingly insane world. When I'm in imminent danger of overdosing on outrage I try to leaven it with a bit of humour; not always successfully.
I already read your post and I liked it. I am absolutely pro-anger when it is a sane reaction to an insane world! In the case of the water situation and/or 19th Century sexuality laws in Michigan, it is time to bring out the righteous anger, the good scotch, and the good china.
DeleteWe have used anger in the past to fuel a campaign to adjust how things were. It worked, maybe not perfectly, but it worked. I admire just anger but then I am from a long line of Scots who lived to make the world right. So go ahead and feel angry when warranted. I'm right there with you. By the way, I hope that's one of your quilts. I love folks who wield a needle.
ReplyDeleteYes Chilly, we sure did! I am so proud of those days, that campaign, and having you as a friend. It actually is one of my quilts, one I designed and made in 1999. Wish I had something recent to show for myself. Too busy being angry to quilt these days, I guess.
DeleteI only get angry when I can also correct the situation, or at least make it known to someone who can change it. I would tell you I am too old to indulge, but honest answer is I live with two adults who cannot control anger, and who have meltdowns over such inconsequential events as a soliciting phone call.
ReplyDeleteThe current political situation does not make me angry; the emotions of disgust and dismay come to mind now. I can just keep on advocating for my views, and taking them to the ballot box--I hope.
I admire your control.
DeleteI am already so weary of this election season and it has barely started. It is really bringing out the worst in everyone.
I enjoy your writing so much, it's always well thought out and relevant.
ReplyDeleteAlong the lines of this post, when dealing with one's own anger and the demons that lug it into one's life, what do you think is the "unblogable bloginess of bloging" ? how far can one go?
I don't have any answers. I DO like the phrase "unblogable bloginess of bloging" though.
DeleteI like blogs to be as different and unique as the people writing them. I trust bloggers to know what they are comfortable writing and revealing, and how far they want to go with "lugging" anger or any other strong emotion into their post. Blogging is kind of self-regulating, really. If you are only writing for yourself then there really isn't any limit to what you write beyond what blogspot allows. If you care about having followers, then as long as your readers still read your blog you are good to go.
I am happy to see your comment because you haven't been posting and I have been wondering how your house search is going.
and thanks for the compliment.
DeleteI understand the anger about recent devastating events but I also think there is constructive anger and destructive anger. People are far too exposed to social media anger, IMO. It just seems to be regurgitated and re-tweeted without anyone contributing to possible solutions. I much prefer to read an article or blog that says "this is an unacceptable injustice! This is how we can help."
ReplyDeleteIt really seems like the standards of good behavior have been lowered with social media. I hope that changes because it is unpleasant and disturbing. I agree about there being constructive anger and destructive anger.
DeleteI have a terrible temper and I am at my worst when I think someone who is vulnerable is being screwed over. It's not pretty and I always feel bad afterwards. I think it's wrong to screw over vulnerable people but my personality becomes the focus instead of the injustice. It's so frustrating!
ReplyDeleteI remember going to assertiveness training workshops back in the day and was struck by the difference between being assertive and being aggressive. Like you allude to, there are definitely situations where speaking up and taking a stand is necessary. I just wish I didn't wait so long to become assertive so when I finally "blow' I am not so aggressive. Working on it, though!
DeleteI hate confrontation and so I get angry at the person for making me stand up which gets pulled into the hot mess in my head. I tend to blow as well. I'm getting slightly better but I wish I could remain calm while I deal with bullshit.
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