I wore non-denim capris and replaced my usual ratty t-shirt with a black top that enables me to pass as normal. It is my go-to shirt for trying to pass as normal. I also wore leather sandals instead of flip-flops. I put on earrings and a necklace. I would have worn lipstick but I forgot about the tube that lives in the bottom of my purse.
Men have it so much easier. All T had to do was replace his white t-shirt. In T-land a short sleeved shirt that buttons up the front and has a collar means "dressed-up."
I would have put my wedding band on, but Florida weather usually makes my fingers swell. As a result, most days I cannot get my ring on. Or if I could manage to cram it over my knuckle, I would not be able to get it back off. Not being able to get my ring off triggers my claustrophobia, so I usually go ring-less. This morning was no exception. If the lawyer needs to see a ring on my finger to figure out us two old farts are married, then I guess it will have to be his problem, not mine.
My hair came out of the low, comfortable pony tail I am now used to wearing. I twisted and pulled it up on the back of my head with a clip. Now I'll probably go bald from all the pulling and twisting. It had to be done, though. Nothing weirds people out like an old woman with long, gray hair. Ageist crap. Actually, I might get it all cut off super short this summer. I don't think I can go through another Florida July or August with long hair. I would have to find someone trustworthy to cut my hair, though. You know how that goes. I'm not sure I am up for the hunt. Plus, I hate surrendering to bourgeois expectations. It is a matter of principle.
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| Going against the grain |
I would love to let my hair grow, especially now - I am a rapidly greying blonde who never ever dyed or hennaed. The fact that I shy away from it is probably the ultimate obstacle between my miserable little self and freedom.
ReplyDeleteOccasionally I try and goad my men into wearing (and purchasing) wedding bands but he is adamant in his refusal. We are ring-less and don't even share surnames. This has been going on for 34 years, we have no shame.
It is quite pleasant having long hair. No muss, no fuss. It was my first act of defiance when I retired - haven't had it cut (except for a trim here and there) since then. As for rings, T has never worn one. I didn't have a ring for the first 29 years. At that point I thought maybe this marriage was going to last so I bought a wedding band. I never wore it full time - I wasn't used to wearing a ring. I rarely wear it any more.
DeleteAnd good for you for not taking his surname. If I had it to do over again...
DeleteHere in France married women always officially bear the name they were born with. They can call themselves Madame Y, but they'll always be Mlle X in the eyes of the law.
DeleteThe French are so rational. I like that compromise for a family name. It enables a woman to become part of a new family yet still maintain a semblance of the family she came from.
DeleteI used to be addicted to Stacey London and Clinton Kelly. I took Stacey's advice to heart--have one pair of dark jeans, well pressed, on hand at all times. I added a corduroy jacket, and walk in like I'm the best dressed one in the room. Works like a charm.
ReplyDeleteI like to be presentable in these situations. I really feel like a well presented woman is taken care of better by doctors, lawyers, and nurses. I hate it, but I believe it to be true.
DeleteLovely photo and warm greetings from a baby boomer in Montreal, Canada I have never been to Florida but I hope your summers are not as unbearably hot and humid as ours here.
ReplyDeleteWelcome! I am glad you like the photo. I have heard that Montreal can be hot and humid in the summer. Unfortunately, Florida summers can also be pretty extreme.
DeleteOh, yes, appearance matters--no denying it. And as far as comfort goes, you can't beat shkrt hair. Yes!
ReplyDeleteI have been thinking a lot about getting it cut short. It would certainly make lying on the couch reading a book more comfortable - no big hair knot at the base of my skull pushing up against the pillow... Unfortunately, I am consumed by inertia.
DeleteI wear my active wear everywhere. You can always dress up black. Unfortunately, my very fluffy cat is shedding like crazy so I take a lot of her with me wherever I go. One of the good things about getting old is that I just don't care. We are having a cooler than usual spring so any extra layer helps.
ReplyDeleteI haven't worn my wedding ring since my 30's. It was a wide gold band and my finger would get an itchy rash under it. I would constantly be taking it on and off to let it heal but I finally gave up. I have tried other rings but after a week or so, the same thing happens. I can, though, wear my grandmother's very thin wedding ring on my pinky. I never take it off as I can't get it over my knuckles, and besides, I love it.
How nice that you have your grandmother's ring. And yes, not caring so much about how one looks is a definite advantage of getting older. I am much more comfortable in my own body now than when I was a young woman.
DeleteI want to grow my hair long as well. The only thing that stops me is I hate the feeling of long hair on my face. I can only stand it for so long and then it all gets cut off again. That and Katie, because she still likes to pull my hair and it's easier to get short hair out of her hands than long hair:)
ReplyDeleteIt drove me crazy growing out my hair until it got long enough to pull back in a ponytail or pull up with a clip. A lot of women down here in Florida have long hair pulled back or up. You either have to do that or get it cut short. The heat is really excessive in the summer. If Katie is a hair puller it would definitely complicate growing it out. Hurts my head (and my heart) just thinking about it.
DeleteLove the pic. My hair is short. Very short. Partly because when the gray hairs are so unruly. Partly because I just don't have the patience or budget for longer hair maintenance.
ReplyDeleteGray hair changes everything.
DeleteAin't that the truth
DeleteI know several (older) women who have lots of natural grey hair, I think it looks wonderful. They exude self-confidence.
ReplyDeleteThanks Cro! I needed that encouragement. And I suspect that is exactly what women in general should be shooting for in their presentation, self-confidence.
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