Tragedies happen every day. Sometimes they happen because a person runs smack into evil through no fault of their own, sometimes bad things happen simply because a person is in the wrong place at the wrong time, other times tragedy hits because someone made a mistake.
I am no better than anyone else, especially when it comes to making mistakes. I look back at my life and I wish I could go back and be kinder, better, somehow atone for things I did that caused pain to others. Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure I am not perfect and will likely make more mistakes before I die. This makes me more than a little nervous because there seems to be a long line of blamers out there just waiting to kick people when they are down.
Why is it so important to cast blame when the victims are still reeling from the blow? I wonder if we will ever evolve to the point that our first reaction to tragedy is compassion, and our first action is kindness, regardless of the cause?
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| Sometimes you just don't see it coming |
There it is, lurking in the water.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine anyone not being compassionate for these souls, these fellow human beings. After the shock, it just comes erupting from your gut, your heart.
I am in the minority, an unjustified belief in the opinion of many, many! But I have no lack of compassion for the suffering soul who brought this about. Suffering begets suffering sometimes. But if you move through this world with compassion, you must have it for all. For the victims as well as the victimiser. It takes time and great effort, but that's what we're here for, to love all, to forgive all, to heal all. This is my belief.
You are a kind person.
DeleteBecause it is easy, casting blame helps us to distance ourselves and to provide the illusion of a clear line between good and bad. We are fooling ourselves and we know it.
ReplyDeleteWell said.
DeleteThe casting of blame seems to have an almost talismanic quality for many people: as if they and their loved ones will be untouched by tragedy, if only they point their finger quickly enough.
ReplyDeleteHuman nature can be so base.
DeleteI wonder if we will ever evolve to the point that our first reaction to tragedy is compassion, and our first action is kindness, regardless of the cause?
ReplyDeleteHope so.
Me, too. But I'm not holding my breathe.
DeletePrudent.
Delete::sigh::
I think we have become very removed from everyday tragedies that used to be common place - farm accidents, childhood diseases, epidemics, etc. 100 years ago+ it was rare that a family did not experience some kind of premature loss. Today our lives have become so sanitized and we expect science to bail us out of every problem so these once everyday occurrences seem very random and scary. So yes, to lay blame helps us with the illusion that we are still safe. I get it, but I don't agree with it.
ReplyDeleteAs an aside, I am now very surprised that during a recent visit to the Everglades, that we were able to able to walk and bike right through areas of alligators.
I totally agree (blame, illusion, lack of experience with loss). Interesting stuff.
DeleteAnd re: hiking/biking on areas with alligators. Down here every area that has a body of water has alligators, even holding ponds in modern subdivisions. It is mind boggling. I feel safer on a bike because it is bigger than them and makes a lot of noise so they would be more afraid of us. Still, though. We should be more aware of alligators than we are. That poor family at Disney - they were from Nebraska. No way they would have known there were real live alligators at a luxury resort on Disney property. My heart just aches for them.
About alligators... yes folks from out of the area don't know about how they are in Florida. I lived in Orlando a while. I'm from California. I think same is true for every region, yes? Folks move here (to CA) and buy a house built on fill or plant lawns and rhodendrons, not understanding how earth and water does (and doesn't) work here. Same with mountain lions and California. yes, they're here! they were here before you/we were! and unlike grizzlies, they haven't all been killed! so folks buy in new subdivisions thrown up in areas that were/are the hunting grounds of lions... and then they are surprised when lions show up. what can we do? create an interest in understanding and respecting and valuing nature maybe... so that when you travel to an area, you begin with the assumption there is a nature and value there... and you look to see, understand, and respect it. I think most modern urban people have lost that. respectfully, perhaps indicated by your quest to plant northeastern plants in florida. because I live in cali and because my stepsister lives in florida and deals with invasive animals for her job... i'm well aware of what happens when folks from other places try to bring their flora and fauna to California and florida, the two "lands of transplants." mostly, it's disastrous. in Cali, the invasives push out the natural flora and fauna and that upsets the ecosystem, etc. sometimes, in the case of eucalyptus, you end up with more and larger fires. fire is already a huge problem in Cali. eucalyptus just makes it worse. I feel like i'm off topic now... what are my points? it might be helpful for us - as a people - to respect and value and expect nature. oh my gosh, it problem sounds like i'm doing the blame game! I will start a new comment with a note about that.
ReplyDeleteThe over development of land in Florida right now is obscene. It is a big part of the problem with alligators.
Deleteah... okay, the blame game... I think that the blame game is in part an effort to understand something. it is based on the question of why. our maturation level determines what we do with that question. do we stay at the three year old level... why, why, why do bad things happen?! and then seize on what appears to be an answer and thrust our grief upon it? staying in our heads and searching for answers, attempting to be logical and "reason things out" can keep us out of feelings. so sometimes the blame game then becomes a way to avoid pain, sadness, etc. if we can do the "why thing" at a more "evolved" level... I think it can be helpful. if it's inside a larger "holding space for feelings" container... and if we do not judge our findings... then I think it can be really helpful. judgement is a real easy trap to fall into. and I think that's what the blame game hinges on. if you are simply trying to understand what happened so that you can prevent future episodes of loss, pain, etc. that's helpful. that's how we find cures for cancer, have better relationships, avoid accidents, etc. we have that ability as humans for a reason. it's our problem-solving friend! but as we assess... if we judge... ah! then we're in trouble... that's the real problem area. So... can we problem solve without judging? if we can, then I think we navigate things better. but that takes a lot of skill and maturity. one more thing... so long as we can't look at our crap and love ourselves... we're not going to be able to detached and kind about anyone else's "mistakes" or shortcomings, etc. so that's key, too. knowing that I, too, have erred a gazillion times. that I, too, have made "poor judgement calls" or overlooked something, or been selfish or done a zillion other stupid things and yet somehow escapes some of these tragedies out of sheer luck... will help me to avoid judgement of others. I hope I have somehow communicated my thoughts here. regarding this family... argh... SO HORRIFIC... I feel so bad for them!!!! I traveled as a young adult in northern and northeastern Australia... often on my bicycle. I had no idea how aggressive saltwater crocodiles were. I learned.. as I traveled... but not really. looking back, I literally cannot believe some of the things I did, the risks I took, knowingly or unknowingly, and the fact that nothing bad happened to me. if something had, I'm sure many people would have said, what an idiot! she should have known! why did she pitch her tent there?! what an idiot! but I didn't know. last thought: the one person/entity that MUST think about the cause of this is Disneyland. it is their responsibility to think it through so that it's less likely to happen again. I guess something like clear signage warning people to stay away from the water, etc. big pictures of alligators, etc. out here in Cali, we are slowly having better signage on swimming in northern beaches. but it's still not adequate and still every year, people drowned. a child drowned about two months ago here in SF. folks just don't know... you can't swim in northern beaches! not really. and you have to be careful "wading" because of the undertow and rips. even surfers have to be careful. okay, my comments are two long. with much love for that family and all of us in the human family. zc
ReplyDeleteThe sign they had up simply said "No swimming." I imagine if they put up signs like the Fish & Wildlife people put up in public areas (Danger - Alligators) it might have helped in this case. Although, the kid wasn't really swimming. He was wading in the very shallow water. Still, more signage would be helpful, and as I hear it is going up. I imagine Disney is going to be sued like crazy for this, so their risk management people will force the issue.
DeleteCancer taught me a very valuable lesson. Most people were kind and compassionate. But there were a few who had to assign a blame to the fact that I got cancer in the first place. I learned that they do this thinking that if they can blame the thing I did to get cancer, they can avoid it themselves. It doesn't work that way, but cancer is terrifying and they want to control it.
ReplyDeleteIt is all so confusing. I'm sorry you had to put up with that. I hope you are well and happy.
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