Personally, I hate snark. It makes my skin crawl when I hear it, and it makes me want to punch someone out when they use it against me. It seems people use snarky comebacks because they think it makes them appear strong and smart. It doesn't. It makes them appear rude and childish. When you use your vast intelligence to come up with a pithy reply designed to destroy your opponent, then you have wasted your words. But most importantly, you've done no good.
The best way to convince someone to change their mind is to listen to them (as respectfully as you are able to pull off...) and THEN start engaging in discussion, strategically. The best way to shut someone down and push them away is to throw snark at them. Because who is going to want to listen to you if you have accused them of being less than human?
How do I know this? Because I was once trained in the art of persuasion by an international representative of a large and famous labor union. She could convince anybody of anything. It was a gift that some people have. If you don't believe me, then follow a successful salesperson around for a day. Salespeople take a lot of abuse and disrespect everyday, but they keep trying to find a way to connect - to make that sale.
Okay, okay, we all have certain friends or relatives we absolutely cannot listen to or argue with. And social media has brought out the troll in way too many angry, lonely, and desperate souls. Unless you have an advanced degree in psychology, just step away from those folks. Detach. Don't waste your time. Don't surrender to the snark side. It's a slippery damn slope that will deliver you to straight to cynicism. And, well, that's kinda like burning in hell.
I want the world to change for the better. I want to win. The only way to do that is to get strategic. We can do this without sacrificing our humanity.
Don't just react. Take the time to think.
I quickly un-friend "friends" on Facebook if they leave even one snarky comment. Interestingly, most of the people I've unfriended are folks I went to high school with and we weren't even real friends back then. I don't know why I don't engage in online attempts at actual discourse and civility, but I don't.
ReplyDeleteI've started replying "Wow" to snarky comebacks. Occasionally it makes them reconsider.
DeleteI have found that in most cases a smile and/or walking away usually does the trick. Online it is harder but I don't have time for negativity. I choose not to engage. I wish to be happy and I make an environment for myself in which I achieve that.
ReplyDeleteSmart woman!
DeleteAmen to that, it is my Goal as well and we can and should protect our Environment and what we choose to expose ourselves to, keeping out the toxic and Negatives as much as is possible.
DeleteI was justly accused once of being snarky. Point taken. Usually.
ReplyDelete:)
DeleteThe anonymity we experience on social media, the distance that we have, we don't see the look on someone's face, we may not even know the person, allows us to be truly horrible.
ReplyDeleteI hate it.
DeleteBehind a computer screen people can become bold about behaving badly since the consequence of such behavior can be far less than if they behaved similarly in person.
DeleteThanks Colette, I am with you 100%.
ReplyDeleteGood to know.
DeleteExcellent advice. Social Media has brought out the worst in people. When I read comments from people on subjects having to do with important issues, I become upset with the horrible discourse. Didn’t they have mothers and fathers to teach them better? Being cruel to your opponent gets you nowhere, except in the last election.
ReplyDeleteIt is so easy to dehumanize people via social media, as Lily Cedar alludes to above. It saddens me.
DeleteThe Art of Persuasion is indeed not only powerful, but causes reflection beyond our own limited views and opinions. Snark is just mean spirited and a form of bullying in my opinion and I don't like Snarky monologues either, it rarely invites dialogue except with others who enjoy tearing people down to try to make themselves feel superior or appear clever, which of coarse it does not. It diminishes them actually in the eyes of most, it brings out what is most unlovely lurking inside of them and I agree, advanced Psychology or a Psychiatry needs to sort that out with and for them.
ReplyDelete"it brings out what is most unlovely lurking inside of them" So true. And most unloving, too.
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