I write this blog to answer questions no one asks me. My post-retirement life is filled with introverts. Believe me, they are NOT asking me questions.
Still, for some reason I'm drawn to introverts. They are beautifully self-contained, have clear boundaries, and are super damn interesting. Yes, I've written about this before, but I want to revisit this subject. I have more to say.
Introverts know I would gleefully upset the applecart. I would. And I'm not a linear thinker. I jump around. Naturally, introverts are wary around me. More to the point, they don't trust me. Most of the time that's okay. I have enough trust for all of us. But sometimes, I get lonely.
In my wide-ranging birth family extraverts dominate, although we have a few introverts. When we get together, which is increasingly rare, there is non-stop laughter and teasing. Personal questions are asked! The introverts gravitate towards the other room to recharge their emotional batteries, or position themselves in places where they are far enough away to watch us at a safe distance. Us extraverts sit together in the kitchen, savoring the chaos and each other.
I wonder if the introverts in my birth family feel lonely, misunderstood, and/or judged amidst our chaos? Because that's how I can sometimes feel amidst their order. It's confusing. How do we accommodate such different world views and personality types? How do we make everyone feel like they belong and are respected? I'm asking you this question.
Not to change the subject (!). I could use a good laugh. I want a long, loud belly laugh from that measureless soul place, unfathomably bold and deep. I'd like to laugh so hard the terror of existence is scared away. Runs like Hell. Hides in the corner, cowering with fear. Let's consider laughter as an existential weapon. Gimme some a' that!
Damn this pandemic.
We value differences here in Chilly Hollow. You bring things to the table I don't and I like that. (And love you for who you are.)
ReplyDeleteThank you, my friend. Ditto.
DeleteI've always been my family's introvert. It's how I have lived for the past 68 (almost 69!) years. I'm getting used to it. I think my sibs are as well!
ReplyDeleteOkay, you want to laugh... yesterday my siblings and I emailed each other the whole day after I sent out a funny email. I told them that I had made up new words for "passing gas." We laughed all day. This is what I sent them:
Butt burp; Hiney hiccups; Tuchas ruckus (tuchas is Yiddish for butt!)
Here were their replies:
Backyard rumble; Bun bombs; Tushy tirade
Gaseous explosions; Poopless tooter; Backside escape
Arse ambush; Cheeks Chernobyl; Bean futures
Cheekie puff; Booty tooter
I hope these made you laugh. Please feel free to join in!
They did make me laugh. Many thanks for that. Hilariously creative.
DeleteSo "shy" that i did not speak until i was three, continued on into this life wondering how extroverts managed to be bold and "out there". Confidence, is key I guess, but I only have to look at a photo of extroverts and have to go take a nap! I semi understand burkas.
ReplyDeleteHa! I'm trying to learn to take naps now that I'm retired. I'm always afraid I'll "miss something."
DeleteI wonder if the introverts in my birth family feel lonely, misunderstood, and/or judged amidst our chaos?
ReplyDeleteI don't mind chaos but I've always felt misunderstood in my family. As for a good laugh, essential to get through the day.
"I used to hate facial hair...but then it grew on me."
Know what my grandfather said to me, right before he kicked the bucket?
"How far ya think I can kick this bucket?"
Ha! Thanks for the laughs. Fun. We could all use more fun.
DeleteThat certainly is on extroverted photo. I actually attempted to make it out to be through a skylight, but finally I hit on a puddle. Wonderful.
ReplyDeleteYes, a puddle in a deeply forested swamp, reflecting the things around it.
DeleteI would send you some jokes but you can;t properly laugh unless there is someone to laugh with you. I also come from a family of extroverts. One sister is very quiet but if you come to visit bring earplugs. Some of us married introverts and the chaos is a little much for them.
ReplyDeleteIt's often the in-laws who suffer. Why does that make me laugh?
DeleteAs a card carrying introvert I am laughing at the phrase "make them feel that they belong" because frankly, they probably don't want to 'belong' in a group of chaotic extroverts. They are probably stuck there out of some social duty and are spending their time planning their escape.
ReplyDeleteBest thing you can do? Give them your car keys and send them on an errand : )
OMG - you are so right. Now I'm laughing at that phrase, too.
DeleteMy siblings recently had a conversation together where they discussed that I was switched at birth. They are kind, wonderful introverts who accept life as it is and seldom make waves. They let life make their decisions rather than make a life happen. I got a different gene. What they don’t realize is that I may be an extrovert on the outside, but inside I am an introvert, often scared, but with a need to push through fears and let all my emotions flow out. It has gotten me in trouble sometimes, but I have had many more joys.
ReplyDeleteThat may be the courage gene. It makes overcoming fear quite irresistible. I imagine you respond well to double dog dares?
DeleteI am not an introvert. But I have a dear friend who is. For some reason I didn't scare her off. We talk about this a great deal. My husband and I laughed so hard the other night we couldn't talk, we were pointing. Nothing better than one of those big ole belly laughs. I hope you get one soon - or stop over, we've been vaccinated. We have them a great many days. 🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteThat's exactly the kind of laugh I want!
DeleteI think I might be an introvert who forces herself to be an extrovert in many circumstances.
ReplyDeleteThis broccoli song makes me laugh - have you seen this guy yet?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWyOrbpGCpE
Oh, that was good. Thanks!
DeleteI think many people have both introvert and extravert aspects to them.
There's a wide difference between the brief, workaday definition (a shy, reticent person) and that in a proper dictionary with rather more elbow room ((1) Somebody whose attentions and interests are directed to his or her own mental life. (2) somebody who is uneasy in company). Also, there's a transatlantic rift: we say extro- while you say extra- . Not that that matters in the slightest. The roots are Jungian but that doesn't matter either, just me showing off.
ReplyDeleteWhat does matter is that these words are not strait-jackets. I, for instance, am neither one nor the other, depending on the circumstances, the subjects under discussion, the nature of the people I'm talking to and the general levels of what the French call ivresse. Journalism compelled me to be extro- simply because an intro-journalist would never get to first base. Or only - to continue with the baseball metaphor - by being struck by the ball. Ha-ha. Me showing off again but I'm not apologising. Very extro-.
The few women I managed to approach in my home town of Bradford (before I moved to London aged 25 and the sun came out) found me distasteful because they saw me as a hyper intro- (positively snail-like) trying desperately to be extro- and failing. One lesson learned: leave your psychriatric problems in the coal cellar.
Good lesson to have learned.
DeleteSpeaking of coal cellars, my family still had one when I was young. I have vivid memories of it, and of the coal burning furnace that lived in our basement. I once tried to write a blog post about it, but accidentally deleted it. I really must try again. The coal cellar.
How I can relate!
ReplyDeleteI used to be the family introvert as a kid, middle child etc. But pushed my way gradually towards a faint semblance of extrovertism (is that a word?). In recent years I have started to rediscover and nourish the pleasure and calm of being introvert.
Not that it makes any difference. The man in my life is an introvert with capital I. He told me from day one, so there is nothing I can hold against him.
The child we raised has turned into a surprisingly professional and overwhelming extrovert, working in diplomacy and politics, while we shake our heads and secretly wonder, where on earth did she get that from. Sometimes I think it's the blessing of being an only child.
As for a good laugh, we re-watched The Life of Brian over Easter. We laughed out loud so many times.
https://youtu.be/ytTr4pfP-tw
Well, since you asked, I think you wanted the word extroversion. Funny word.
DeleteI'm pretty sure most of us are a little bit of both intro and extra(extro).
I am a Hopeless Extrovert and I know a good mixture of Introverts and Extroverts, both in Family and Friends or even loose ties. It's sometimes too intense for Introverts to Deal with those of us that a little bit goes a long way. And with Introverts I'm never quite sure what's behind the Order, goes deeper than the intensity of Control they exercise? With an Extrovert what you see is what you usually get, so not as many Surprises. For a good laugh, I was trying to shed the Gave Up On Life Look that Pandemic has made a Fashion Trend and tried to look presentable for a change when I went out. That included trying to actually do something with my Dreadlocks to Tame them... so I wanted to put them up in a Bun under a Wrap. Only, it had been so long since I'd done that I forgot the Method to Wrestle them up there and they'd grown exponentially since the last time I did it... so they ended up looking like Pythons fighting under a Wrap, bulging out all over, and I almost knocked myself out trying to get into the Truck because they were ever so much Higher now in a Bun than before! I had to remember to duck to get in and out of the Vehicle!!!
ReplyDeleteWell that made me laugh. I enjoy your extraverted vulnerability.
DeleteI'm an introvert, and I think that on the whole introverts are treated with respect over here. Certainly no one has ever suggested I'm in some way inferior because I'm quiet and self-contained. My partner is also an introvert so we get on just fine!
ReplyDeleteI don't think either personality type is superior to the other. I'm glad you feel respected.
DeleteNice photo! Sometimes I wonder about the accuracy of the introvert/extrovert binary. I mean, aren't there people in the middle? Seems like MOST people would be in the middle, actually, as with most other things.
ReplyDeleteI hear you. In most cases I believe we are all a bit of both. But there are people who weigh in more on one side than the other. Read 8thday's comment above for a good example.
DeleteI am very much an introvert as are much of my family of origin. And yet, when we get together it gets pretty raucous quickly. Maybe because we all feel safe with each other.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds right.
DeleteI am the classic middle child and the only daughter to boot. I lived inside myself my entire life. Somewhere along the the way I found some middle road. I value down time but I also cherish brief spurts of socialization.
ReplyDeleteThat seems well balanced.
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