I'm still here. I have been reluctant to write for a number of reasons:
First, I haven't felt creative.
Second, we suffered the loss of a family member. Not to death, mind you. A rejection based on complex family dynamics. Anyway, it took the wind out of my sails for a long time. It is what it is. Onward and upward, right?
Oh, and Third, I've been obsessed with raising the rating on my ancestry.com tree, the one with over 60,000 people in it. If you remember, in April 2025 I discovered it had a 7.9 rating because of lack of documentation. It is now up to 9.4. If I can bring it up to 9.6, it will be rated a "top tree." I'm so sick of "documenting" and researching dead people. I dream about them. When I had pneumonia last fall, I was often in a half-sleep, watching names and facts scroll by one after another in my mind. When I'm finally done with this project, I will feel reborn.
Cheers!
There's no way I could devote so much time to investigating my ancestors. For all I know, they were all bank robbers and fraudsters. I admire your determination and patience.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear of your loss. Yes, onwards and upwards I guess.
I fear I am actually obsessive about this genealogy thing. But hey, that's who I am. By the way, I have no doubt you and all the rest of us have bad guys in our ancestry. Imagine this, we all have 1,048,576 18th great grandparents.
DeleteSorry for the loss. Pleased to read you are choosing to move beyond that event. I connected with a cousin that I hadn't seen or spoken with in 40+ years. She shared some news about a grandparent that I found disturbing, yet in the scheme of things, irrelevant. I've decided that what I don't know won't hurt me.
ReplyDeleteTotally feeling you on not feeling creative. Hang in there.
Thanks, MG. Families are hard to navigate.
DeleteYou're welcome. Yes, they can be.
DeleteI am fascinated by genealogy...I'd bet that your admirable dedication and tenacity will pay off in ways you might never expect.
ReplyDeleteThat would be fun.
DeleteGood to hear from you, Colette. I'm sorry to hear about your family loss. I haven't felt creative either and am in awe of your extended efforts to create a "top tree" in the interim. My tree is a 7.1, but I haven't taken the time to remedy that. My family tree is notable for estrangements in recent generations. Who knows how long that has been going on. I, too, have experienced the grief of family loss but not to death.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear you have experienced that sort of loss, too. It's rough, especially when it isn't your choice. Oh well.
DeleteThe more people I meet, the more often I realize that estrangement is not just something that my own family deals with.
ReplyDeleteI was talking to my counselor last week and she said that it seems that I help a lot of people, that I given people chances to redeem themselves. I said yes, but I also put up a hard wall when I've had enough. I close myself off. She explained that it was a boundary that I had set up and that there's nothing wrong with that. I hadn't thought of it like that.
Boundaries are good, and it is up to each one of us to decide where that boundary starts. I hold no ill will for this familial loss.
DeleteAt least you showed up, albeit with a "quick 'n' dirty," Colette! xoxox Kate
ReplyDeleteHa! True that.
DeleteI will comment on number 2 today. It is so hurtful to lose a loved one because of a rejection. Perhaps one day feelings of love will overcome whatever caused the need to separate. Perhaps not. Sometimes we need to love them no matter how they feel. From experience I can say it is easier than it seems.
ReplyDeleteWise words!
DeleteI did the Ancestry DNA back in December and I've been working on building my family tree, but it's so frustrating! I admire your tenacity in getting such a high rating! My rating is around 6.5, I think.
ReplyDeleteI'm estranged from my mother, and it hurts, but it's easier than dealing with her had become.
My advice is to document as you go. I wish I had done that from the first. They have a very quaint search database that you can access from the individual search function. It is surprising how much one can "drill down" and find using it.
DeleteMy older sisters ghost me from time to time, sometimes lasting for years. Yes, it hurts. But it is a hurt that can be lived with. Families are so damn complicated.
Good to see you are still here! Families are complicated battlefields at times. Why do we need to stiock around when it's so awful?
ReplyDeleteThe truth is, we don't.
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