coming out of my shell

coming out of my shell

Friday, May 27, 2016

Going Back

We made a whirlwind trip to Upstate NY in mid-May. It was the first time we went back since moving to Florida in March 2014. We arrived late Friday and left after lunch on Monday. Absurdly short visit, I know; but T is not a good traveler. I apologize from the heart to those dear friends I was unable to see this time. The guilt and regret I feel is palpable. But this trip had a specific purpose.

Our friend, ShS, died in January and we were unable to go back for her funeral. We specifically planned this May weekend with the old gang to honor her and help her husband process the loss.

Saying goodbye to her was one of the last things we did before leaving NYS over two years ago. She was not sick yet. Still, when I hugged her goodbye at her doorway that cold March day I was overcome with sorrow and didn't want to let go of her. I fought tears as we drove away. It would be an understatement to say I don't usually cry. I am usually steely calm with goodbyes, so Tom asked if I was okay. I told him I had a strong feeling I was never going to see ShS again. It was one of those moments when the future reaches back with fully extended claws to rend your heart with foresight. Spooky.

On a lighter note, while there we went to
our favorite Vietnamese restaurant. When I walked in, the waiter immediately remembered me! He also remembered my standard lunch order after all these years. Whatta guy!

His kindness reminded me how we impact everyone we meet. A kind and gracious waiter can make a customer's day. We might remember him/her for the rest of our lives. Relationships take many forms. Make no mistake, we all play a role crafting goodness and light in this world.

Yes, we went to Wegmans. I had a hilarious "moment" with an elderly stranger who was sitting down in the dining area eating an entire Mini Ultimate Chocolate Cake all by her sweet self. As I walked by, I saw the cake and exclaimed "Look, it's one of those cakes!" She heard me and said, "I am just trying to make sure I stay fat." Ha!
I'll probably never forget her, either.

Just so you know, we brought a small, empty carry-on suitcase on the plane. Before leaving NYS we filled it up with 3 dozen bagels for our return. The security bag scanner at the airport got a big kick out of it. Six of the bagels were garlic. Now the suitcase will forever smell of garlic. I don't care.

Bagels, ripe for the picking

Heaven on Earth: the produce section at Wegmans

FYI - We are going to be preoccupied with a family wedding this weekend, so I probably won't be checking my or other people's blogs for a few days.  If you send comments I will publish them and respond Monday or Tuesday.  Have a good weekend!







15 comments:

  1. I'm sorry about your friend. I lost a very good friend a year and a half ago. I still walk by the room she died in at least 2 or 3 times a week in my hospital. Still miss her a lot too.

    Hope you enjoy the wedding:)

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    1. Thanks! It is hard to lose friends.

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  2. It is so hard to lose and miss close friends.

    Your adventures with the empty and eventually full suitcase remind me of our trips to Ireland (which is R's home and has been mine for many years) when we would come back loaded with soda bread and smoked salmon and Barry's tea and Bewley's coffee and marmalade and tons of books and I forget what else. Nowadays, all I request is a pristine copy of the Irish Times, preferably the weekend edition.

    Enjoy the wedding!

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    1. All those Irish goodies sound great. The wedding was great, albeit filled with family drama (as usual). At least this time I was not one of the one's causing trouble. I count that as a good visit.

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  3. I just hate it when someone our age dies unexpectedly, meaning a baby boomer. It's just never seems right

    Love your suitcase story full of NY bagels
    I always want to bring back pastry my favorite is those lobster claw pastries I got in Little Italy once

    Love a wedding and this is perfect weather for a wedding

    Janice

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    1. Many thanks Janice. So true - it never seems right. The lobster claw pastry sounds great. I don't think I've ever had it.

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  4. I LOVE bagels! Those look super!!! There used to be a NY bagel place behind my mom! I always got the egg bagel!!! Happy Wedding Weekend!!! Is it in SB??

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    1. Yes, it was. Big D's oldest daughter.

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  5. Even after years have passed, I still find myself, in quiet moments by myself, grieving for two dear friends who have died. Good friends we love, old friends we treasure.

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    1. I guess we just have to be happy we had them in our lives for as long as it lasts.

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  6. So many people unconsciously shed "grace," as they move through the world.

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    1. I love those people. They are everywhere.

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  7. Now and again I see a fellow commuter on the bus who is always UP, always full of vim and vigor. I seem to see her when her energy is most needed. ♥ her. That.

    I'm sorry about your friend and the reason for your visit. Thank you for the mention of fantabulous bagels. :-)

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    1. I'm happy to hear you have a fellow commuter to cheers you up on the way into work. Nice! Thanks for the condolences. She was DEFINITELY a special person.

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So, whadayathink?