coming out of my shell

coming out of my shell

Friday, February 15, 2019

We are the lucky ones!

Yesterday I received Valentine's Day flowers from my three grown-up grandchildren who live up north. You really have to know a bit about our short but profound history to fully understand how touched I am. 

I've written about this before, but let me summarize: My husband, T, did DNA testing in late spring 2017 to determine his ethnic heritage. When he received his results, he was surprised to find he had another daughter, named R. He contacted her within 10 minutes of reading of her existence, and immediately they began to build a relationship. This is a relationship that flourished and continues to grow and deepen for all of us who are related to this man and his oldest child. Sometimes these things don't work out; however, we are the lucky ones.

At one point I was complaining that there was no familial name, no role to label me. Why? Because I'm a self-indulgent and needy monster, of course. The love I feel for our family and everyone in it is over the freakin' top!  I'm not the birth-mother. I'm not the familial grandmother (they already have grandmothers who were quite wonderful). I'm not really a step-mother, either. So what am I? Can we PLEASE make this all about me?

Luckily, R thinks I'm funny. So when I complained to her about this (and yes, I really did complain to her about this because I am a self-indulgent and needy monster with absolutely no filter) she said I could be her Fairy Stepmother. Well, alright! See why I love this woman?  It turns out her 3 children are equally as lovable.


The card that came with the Valentine flowers says:

"Happy Valentine's Day, Fairy Grandmother!
  Love, The Fairy Grandchildren"

BIG smile. Thanks, SM, AC, and MC. I love all of you, too.

26 comments:

  1. That is just wonderful to read!

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  2. Wonderful wonderful wonderful. It warms my heart and feeds my soul. See, I am needy and self indulgent too.

    Thank you for sharing this special relationship Colette.

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    1. You are welcome, Linda. This had to be shouted from the rooftops.

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  3. What a touching and loving story. It is definitely a "feel-gooder".

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  4. I love thinking of you as a fairy. They must be wonderful folks, your fairy step-daughter and grandkids!

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    1. And another son-in-law, too. Can't have enough son-in-laws.

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  5. To be "a" fairy grandmother, let alone "the" fairy grandmother is over the top! Good for you.

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    1. Thanks Joanne. It means a lot coming from you. I consider you the Queen Bee of all grandmothers everywhere.

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  6. Fairy Grandmother sounds delightful:)

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  7. OMG I just LOVE this and that is the most Perfect Familial Name isn't it?! And of coarse it SHOULD be all about us, right? *Winks*

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  8. Fairy Grandmother is a lovely title. Being loved is the most wonderful thing in the world.

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  9. We were married in 1960. In 1963 VR was staying briefly with her parents and I sent her my first and last Valentine. To say I'd just passed my car driver licence. No doubt you disapprove of my utilitarian approach to Valentines but, never mind, I fear Le Grand Seigneur shares your opinion. The following day I was made redundant from the magazine I was working on.

    As it happened my next job helped influence - for the better - the rest of my professional life in journalism. But that didn't erase my Valentine antipathy. I worried that a mass-produced card, bearing sentiments expressed by someone paid penny-a-line, was hardly the appropriate way to mark my feelings about the most complex, varied and unexpected aspects of that institution known as marriage. A million words (with lots of footnotes) perhaps, or a painting, or (better still) a song. Something with a little aesthetic elbow-room.

    But Americans and Brits are never so far apart as in their use of the four-letter word (with expansions) that crops up in your post. We use it grudgingly, sometimes not at all. I look back on ten years of blogging and I doubt it occurs as many as half-a-dozen times. Which isn't to say that that state doesn't happen in Brits. My blogs include many references to VR but I think - without detailed analysis - that the anecdotes tend subconsciously to emphasise lives shared. We may not be outgoing but we're great at certain kinds of euphemism.

    By the way, I thought your husband's reaction was exemplary.

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    1. My husband IS exemplary! I was so proud of him for his immediate reaction to finding R.

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  10. I love love love the relationship you have with your Fairy grandchildren. You are the best Fair Grandmother! A wonderful story of love.

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  11. And THIS is what the world needs more of!

    Happy Fairy Grandmothering!

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  12. Fairy Grandmother! What a lovely title! :) And the flowers are beautiful.

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  13. What a lovely, happy story. Not all such turn out so well - you really are the lucky ones!
    Been away so only now catching up...

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    1. The day she came into our lives was just as glorious as the day our other daughter arrived. And less painful.

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So, whadayathink?