I have been sorting through my failures and taking inventory of my limitations now that I have the time in retirement to tackle all this self-indulgent nonsense. I must say it is a thankless job and it is taking a whole lot longer than I thought it would.
I guess one of my problems is I like to win. I am trying to figure out if this is a character flaw or a virtue. Actually, I quite like that part of myself. I think I will keep that.
Why am I subjecting myself to this torture? For one thing, I am trying to learn how to become more comfortable with failure because failure is often the fertilizer for new ideas. A new idea or two wouldn't kill me.
I am also trying to get to know myself at 64. I am probably not too old to change. If I find some qualities I really cannot stand I might try to change myself. A little. Just a little bit. Yes, it is that damn change thing again! Now I suppose I am too comfortable with change and will become addicted to it. Sheesh.
I am pretty clear on how we gain knowledge. Wisdom, of course, is something else. I am not exactly sure just what wisdom is or how you become wise. If I figure it out, I will let you know. Or perhaps you will tell me? Either way is fine with me.
To be too hard on yourself.
ReplyDeleteCould be #1 on the list.
DeleteIs the snake hissing in your ear?
ReplyDeleteMust be. I have been craving apples, too.
DeleteWisdom either comes from experience or age. Which is why teenagers are so freaking stupid.
ReplyDeleteYes, I know what you mean. I really like teenagers, but being one and then raising one were both rough jobs.
DeleteI'm very competitive as well and dislike having my shortcomings pointed out to me. I already know many of them. I'm much kinder to myself now when I make mistakes though. I treat myself as I would treat a child. Tell myself that it's ok. That I can learn from this and probably do better next time. I don't feel the need to be perfect so much anymore as I get older either which is nice. My memory is also not so good anymore, I'm 53, and it does frustrate me but what can I do? It is somewhat satisfying to tell someone that you have no memory of a conversation or a guideline.
ReplyDeleteHa! Yes, it IS somewhat satisfying.
DeleteLike you, I also tell myself everything is OK when I'm feeling "off." It seems to helps with anxiety. Sometimes I think that is all I really need to hear when I am overcome.
I keep coming back here trying to write a comment about wisdom, but apparently I am not wise enough : ) But I do think self evaluation and trying to "polish" one's self is a very worthwhile goal.
ReplyDeleteIt gives me something worthwhile to do. That and babysitting for my grandson. He is very wise and, apparently, knows it all.
DeleteI just happened about this - wisdom is when you reside in the place where the mind and heart meet.
DeleteNice.
DeleteI think there are a lot of ways to learn to be wise.
ReplyDeleteWell, all of the above one's, indeed. And maybe also just being quiet. I learn a lot when I just keep my big mouth shut. It seems that I can better hear and see when I do so. With a big mouth like mine...easier said than done!
"It's the wise woman who knows when another woman is even wiser."
Found that in an old magazine - love it!
I like that quote.
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