I am always surprised when people assume I am a sweet old lady. No one ever mistook me for a sweet and unassuming teenager or a sweet middle aged woman. I
may look like a chubby, gray haired, little old woman now, but I am no lady. I have written about my distaste for "ladies" before. You really cannot make assumptions about old folks. We are just like we were when we were young, except slower and more wrinkled. OK, maybe we have gained some weight, too. Oh well!
Some older women are sweet and kind. Others are a bit like Geraldine Page's character, Mrs. Ritter, in The Pope of Greenwich Village. You never know who we are until you take the time to get to know us.
Here's a clip from that movie with the great Ms. Page. I really love this character and this scene. In 1984, when this movie came out, I was 33 years old. At the time I was an employee union organizer trying to bring collective bargaining to Cornell University in order to demand some respect for women in traditionally female jobs. I was pretty tough and sure of myself. That is how I wanted to stay.
You know how it is when you are young. The thought of aging horrified me. Not only did I not want my youth to fade, I did not want to become a vulnerable and sweet old lady. That seemed to be the only older woman role model when I looked around back then. The character of Mrs. Ritter was something of a revelation to me because, even though she was older, alone, and grieving the loss of her son, she remained a badass woman. I love Geraldine's interpretation of this character. A lesser actress might have made a joke out of her. She's no joke.
Some older women are sweet and kind. Others are a bit like Geraldine Page's character, Mrs. Ritter, in The Pope of Greenwich Village. You never know who we are until you take the time to get to know us.
Here's a clip from that movie with the great Ms. Page. I really love this character and this scene. In 1984, when this movie came out, I was 33 years old. At the time I was an employee union organizer trying to bring collective bargaining to Cornell University in order to demand some respect for women in traditionally female jobs. I was pretty tough and sure of myself. That is how I wanted to stay.
You know how it is when you are young. The thought of aging horrified me. Not only did I not want my youth to fade, I did not want to become a vulnerable and sweet old lady. That seemed to be the only older woman role model when I looked around back then. The character of Mrs. Ritter was something of a revelation to me because, even though she was older, alone, and grieving the loss of her son, she remained a badass woman. I love Geraldine's interpretation of this character. A lesser actress might have made a joke out of her. She's no joke.
I've never wanted to lose my edge. It's the same as badass.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely. I think you are safe.
DeleteI've never seen this movie, or at least I don't think I ever have. But that scene is so familiar. I'll have to check it out on youtube. But my god, she was wonderful! The down turned mouth, the way she blew the smoke out, loved it!. You are so right in what you said about a lesser actress. She really was one of the very few who could inhabit that role. And did she ever!
ReplyDeleteSo, are you saying your not a sweet little old lady? You are a badass? hahaha From the way you write, I would never have thought of you as a SLOL, although I am sure you have your sweet moments. I think of you more as what I would call "a straight shooter". You tell it pretty real. It takes a good mind and a life well lived to do that. And when I say well lived, I mean you seem like you've been pretty "conscious" all your life. That's what it takes to have a good one.
It's not easy to tell your age from your writing. You sound young and old and mischievous and insightful, it's an ageless combination.
Great movie. There's another scene with her where the Mickey Rourke and Eric Robert characters are trying to shake her down and she is glorious. I couldn't find that scene on You Tube.
DeleteThanks for your kind words.
You know, most days I am flabbergasted (seriously) about my actual age. I am almost 58.
ReplyDeleteI think there is a difference between my mother's generation and mine/ours. It's easier for us to be gritty and not sweet or well behaved. We age wearing jeans and old checked shirts and odd silver bangles because we want to and - hopefully - don't give a toss as to how we are supposed to be. But I watch my 32 yrs old daughter rush through her fabulous life and wonder whether she thinks I am an old woman, the way I thought then that my mother was old.
Yes, I think our generation has changed the whole aging thing for many of us. I am happy about that, I don't think I would look good with tightly permed blue hair. You have raised an interesting question - do our daughters think of us as old women? Interesting to imagine us through their eyes.
DeleteMy office is next door to the senior services office and the director there has always stood by the statement that our qualities, both good and bad, intensify as we age. If we were cranky when we were young we will be even crankier when we are old. Sweet youngsters become sweeter elders. I'm not sure that bodes well for me : )
ReplyDeleteYeah, I really hope that is not true! Scary. Unless, of course, it also applies to being clever or insightful or sexy.
DeleteI look like a very nice lady, who is getting older (cough,cough). My patients think I'm nice but don't fuck with my patients, or my family for that matter or you will feel my wrath:)
ReplyDeleteI won't! :)
DeleteI love her voice. I WANT her voice. From Maria....
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean.
DeleteGreat Post... and I am in Agreement. I CAN be a Sweet Old Lady, but with enough Attitude that don't mistake my Kindness for Weakness and that's how I like it. The one fear I have is not so much being mistaken for a Sweet Old Lady... but in becoming an Old Biddie *smiles*... I've run into enough of them not to want my demographic to all be lumped into that stereotype, and which, when I do run into one, I can't hardly stand to be around them either regardless of what might have Created that unfortunate countenance? Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian
ReplyDeleteHa! Yes, it will be good if we can avoid becoming Old Biddies. I am not promising anything, tho.
Delete