It took a while, but eventually I surrendered to my place in the larger scheme of things. I settled into a job skill that seemed creative to me. I made it work.
I am not complaining. I enjoyed working and I was happy to be part of something bigger than myself. However, I am relieved to be done with that part of my life. I enjoy being retired. I can finally be myself everyday, all the time. That is a big change from being a worker bee.
I love the character “Seven of Nine” from Star Trek’s Voyager. Voyager ran for 7 seasons, but the first three were a bit clunky. Seven of Nine was introduced in season 4, and absolutely "made" the series from then on.
As a young child she and her human family had been forcibly and physically assimilated into the Borg, an alien cybernetic society representing the ultimate workforce collective: The Hive Mind.
The Borg Collective organized their technologically enhanced workforce into teams of 9 "drones." Borg do not have individuality or names, but her team designation was Seven of Nine. Eventually the all-too-human crew of the Starship Voyager captured her and liberated her from the collective.
Before liberation she was the perfect employee, absolutely without individual will or personal reflection. The Borg Collective was a monster of efficiency! The post-liberation Seven of Nine struggled to rediscover what it meant to be human, what it meant to think or act as an individual. Seven did not always approve of the lack of efficiency that arose when one acted alone, but she was intrigued by humanity. She thought she would give individuality a try.
A dear friend of mine retired last Friday. Yesterday was the first scheduled workday she did not get up and go to work outside her home. I just asked her how she was doing and she said she felt "undefined." That is the perfect word to describe the early days/months/years of retirement: undefined. After years of being part of a complex collective effort what are we when we stand alone?
If her experience of retirement is like mine, it will seem like vacation for a while. Retirement isn't a vacation, though. There is still work to be done. You need to redefine yourself, not as part of an organization but as an individual.
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| An look inside the Apollo 14 Command Module at the Kennedy Space Center on Merritt Island, Florida |
You described everything perfectly. I still miss being part of a team that always had goals, and was undefined for the first year of my retirement. I am doing better in my forth year and am part of a group part time. That seems to suit me just fine.
ReplyDeleteThat's good to hear. I was great the first year, floundering the second year, but back on track at the beginning of year 3. If I ever get another job it would be part time/casual, working for someplace small. I don't want to put on my game face again.
DeleteCouldn't have said it better. One of my best friends retired two years ago. It was incredible to watch her over her first year. We saw each other at least twice a month and each month she looked younger and healthier.
ReplyDeleteLots of people have said we have to reinvent ourselves but I found it more like rediscovering who you really are and then fine tuning it.
Welcome to this side of life. It's Good!
Actually, I've been retired for a little over 2 years. Just getting the hang of it! But I have loved it since the very first day. Yes, I think rediscovering is more apt. We were always there, just tucked away for the future. Sometimes we get lost over the years.
DeleteOur newly retired road super said he took a 3.5 mile hike in the snow yesterday, when he called to thank me for posting his picture on the township web site. I think he's at very loose ends.
ReplyDeleteHa! It is going to take him awhile to get used to the freedom.
DeleteThere are days when I'm at work and I think how easy it will be to just walk out of here. And I am totally convinced of it. Because, I tell myself, I'll just go freelance at home.
ReplyDeleteIt's all in my imagination. In reality, I am scared shitless.
It IS scary. It is not something to take lightly. But eventually it turns into something quite wonderful (depending on the person). Some people should never retire. There are certain personality types who cannot stand the lack of obvious productivity. My own mother worked until she was in her mid-70's and then only stopped because of the limitations imposed by Parkinson's Disease. She loved working. I know professors at Cornell who worked until they were in their 80's. I wrote a blog post about making the decision that is kind of tongue in cheek, but more truth than you might think. http://agingfemalebabyboomer.blogspot.com/2015/08/should-you-retire.html
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