coming out of my shell

coming out of my shell

Sunday, April 28, 2019

Retirees dream of past workplaces

I had an unsettling dream last night. In it I was recalled from the comfortable peace of retirement to return to my old job to stage an important event for the department. I did a bad job of it. Yes, it was a nightmare.

The Associate Dean of Administration, my former mentor, showed up for this dream event. She angrily asked why I hadn't arranged for a specific faculty member to be there to hand out awards to graduate students. I replied, "I don't care." Sheesh. I was always defiant, but this reply takes the cake. Later in the dream I remembered that the particular professor she asked about died last weekend (in real life), but it was too late to undo the damage my flippant statement made. The AD of A was red-faced furious and ever so done with me. That still hurts.

My "dream" staff (consisting of co-workers from a couple of different actual real jobs) were disgusted with me.  I tried to apologize to them, and closed my eyes for a few moments as I spoke deep from my heart about all my faults. When I was done, I realized the staff members left. They never heard my apologies because they didn't care what I had to say.

My dear friend, the Director of Human Resources (D of HR) for the college, tried to intervene and save me. Bless her sweet heart, I do so love that woman. She lined up an interview with another department. I tried to tell her I was retired, and had earned the maximum work income Social Security would allow this year, but she insisted I must redeem myself. I was freaked out about losing Social Security income for the rest of this year AND had interview anxiety.  Aaack.

I forgot the exact time she had scheduled the interview for. My cell phone was dead. I had to call the D of HR on a public phone. Yes, there was still a public phone box in my dream reality, and it was free! I didn't have to dial. I simply screamed into the phone and she answered. It was also more of a perforated disk than any public phone I've ever seen, but I digress. She said the interview was in a half hour and I needed to get there right away. She would meet me and go through the interview with me (unheard of in reality, but much appreciated in dream-time). 

Unfortunately there was a flood I had to wade through on my way to the building. It slowed me down. I was afraid I wouldn't make it in time. When I finally arrived at the building I couldn't find the room. The D of HR found me wandering the halls and helped me find the room. 

Then I woke up.

I am thankful I didn't have to go through that interview.  I would have screwed that up, too.

This is an actual gargoyle from outside one of the buildings I used to work in

27 comments:

  1. I hate dreams like that. Everything that can go wrong does, it feels like you are blocked at every turn, obstacles everywhere.

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  2. Wow! You remembered that dream in the most detailed way. So much going on, and all of it challenging, right down to the flood. It's good to wake up and remember that you are retired.

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    1. I started writing it as soon as I woke up. It was quite vivid.

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  3. Yikes! In the past I've dreamed I went to school without my underwear but this tops that by loads!

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    1. That's because you left this particular university work scene before it ate your soul.

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    2. Possibly. Or maybe I have no soul to be eaten? We'll ponder that for a while….

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  4. That was a fascinating dream. You probably didn't think so though. I wonder if there were any Freudian meanings in there.

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  5. You left me breathing heavily and hoping for the end, because it had to end, didn't it?

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    1. Yes, it did. And when I woke up I was shaken, not stirred. Came right to the computer and wrote it all down. I'm hoping for sweeter dreams tonight.

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  6. Oh dear. The flood! At least you made it through it. My dream floods are usually rapidly hardening clay or something worse - like a landslide.
    So maybe now that you are enjoying safe retirement your deepest fears from your working life are released.

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  7. I see the creature forming the gargoyle is sticking out its tongue. Here in UK that's considered an insult. Have you considered that the dream you thought was a dream is in fact continuing reality and misbehaviour has stepped up a notch from shouting down a cell-phone. Just kidding.

    Your dream falls into a category of affliction intended to torment those who have retired. I regularly have nightmares about being required to write a thousand words on - let's say - transsubstantiation, to a deadline only ten minutes away. Gloomily I reach for the encyclopedia since it appears the Internet has not yet been invented. As I say variants of this situation recur, hammering home the message that time is running out. So what else is new?

    You "couldn't find the room". Another typical detail, reinforcing the enveloping helplessness.

    I'm wrestling with the philosophical implications of dying in real life. As opposed to...?

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    1. Oh gee, now I'm imagining what it must be like to be a professional writer, a gun for hire, without the internet. I miss encyclopedias, though. I foolishly got rid of my set when I moved down to Florida, and now must rely exclusively on the internet.

      I'm not ignoring your last paragraph. I'm horribly claustrophobic and you just scared the living bejeezus outta me.

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  8. Heavens to Betsy I didn't want to do that. But I must confess I love "scared the living bejeezus outta me" and am daydreaming about which of my fictional characters' mouths it will emerge from.

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    1. hahahaha, I thought you'd like that. "Heavens to Betsy," indeed.

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    2. And, of course, when I said "your last paragraph" I really meant "your last sentence. I guess. I mean, can a one sentence paragraph be a paragraph, or does it remain a sentence?

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  9. What are you asking me for? I left school aged 15.

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    1. Come on, you know the answer.

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    2. A paragraph is defined as “a group of sentences or a single sentence that forms a unit” (Lunsford and Connors 116). Length and appearance do not determine whether a section in a paper is a paragraph. For instance, in some styles of writing, particularly journalistic styles, a paragraph can be just one sentence long.
      Paragraphs - The Writing Center
      https://writingcenter.unc.edu/tips-and-tools/paragraphs/

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  10. Nightmares, recounted, can be the stuff of Comedy in the absurdity of them! I Wonder sometimes how our Minds Store Memory in such a way it can be dredged up in Nightmarish Comedies of Errors like that?! It is Interesting to study Dreams and what they might be signifying. I think this one makes it clear that Retirement is preferable? *Winks* I've had some Work Related Dreams since Retiring from my Corporate Lives and tho' DURING them it's a Horror, upon waking and recounting them, they're downright hysterical!

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    1. I texted my work friends with the link to the post, and they all had fun with it. The D of HR especially liked that she was the hero of my dream.

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    2. Every Dream or especially Nightmare, needs a Hero!

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  11. C., just finding this blog and now laughing out loud at your nightmare. Knowing this particular workplace, however, the only thing that truly surprises me is the "good guy" role played by the HR director. Must be a very different HR director than the one I remember.

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    1. This one is a A&S (college) based person. Are you remembering the HR director for the university? Way back when? He's LONG gone.

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So, whadayathink?