coming out of my shell

coming out of my shell
Showing posts with label kindness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kindness. Show all posts

Friday, October 24, 2025

Paying Forward

I went to the grocery store the other day. I had about $116 worth of food, and went to the check-out lane. A friendly older woman was working the register, and the bagger was a high school boy. We exchanged pleasantries, and then it was time to pay. I reached into my purse to pay and in horror realized I didn't have my credit card. As you can imagine, I was distraught. 

I told them I only lived about 10 minutes away and asked if they could put my bags in the cooler until I returned with my card. They were very sweet to me, but I was humiliated.  

Suddenly, a woman in the next check-out lane walked over and announced she would pay. I tried to talk her out of it, but she insisted. She told me to consider myself blessed. What can one do when confronted by an actually good religious person? I pulled the 3 packages of Halloween candy out of the cart and asked the bagger if he could put them back for me. I would accept her kindness, but I wasn't going to take advantage. I joked that she was for sure going to heaven for this act of kindness, and she laughed. I thanked her profusely, as one does when they are embarrassed. I promised her I would "pay it forward" and do the same for someone else. 

The very next day I returned to buy the Halloween candy. The woman in front of me in the check-out couldn't get her card to work, and was upset. Something was wrong. I uneasily recognized her humiliation. I stepped up and paid her bill. It was $118, almost the same as mine from the previous day. When she tried to dissuade me, I told her my own story and that the amount was virtually the same. She accepted and promised to pay it forward. Wow!   

And if you think this is all about the goodness of white people, think again. The only white people in this narrative were me and the high school boy.  



Sunday, December 15, 2024

Oh (pint-sized) Christmas Tree

I started baking for the holidays today. I've been going to bed each night for a week vowing to start the very next day, and then I don't. It was getting ridiculous.

Yesterday I forced myself to put up a tree. It's small and super cute. I suppose I should decorate the mantle. I've been saving and framing Christmas cards of madonnas or angels for decades, and I put them up each year.  Lots of fine art and gold frames. They make me happy. It's like eating comfort food, only it is a visual feast. Okay, I have convinced myself. I'll do it tomorrow. I'm almost sure of it.

I'll wait to clean until just before the holiday. If I start now, I'll just have to do it again. Ha! I'm only partially kidding.  

I'm not gonna lie, 2024 has been a hard year for me and mine. I'm trying to be strong, to be good, to rise above the fray. I can do that. But still, there is a simmering anger lurking below the surface. An ache, a wish for kindness and compassion. There's not much of that in this hard and callous world. 

I struggle, wondering if I have not been kind enough myself, or if I have been too weak to be truly kind? What is the right balance? How much courage and character is required to be kind? I guess it has to start with me. At 73, I don't have all that much time left for bullshit.  

I look forward to Christmas being over, and the new year to begin.  There WILL be resolutions.  

A small light in the darkness