Apprehension and then some

It isn't that I don't have anything to say.  I am simply paralyzed by apprehension* about the upcoming U.S. elections.  

Here are this morning's Florida numbers for people who have already either early voted, or voted by mail.   Please note this just lists the information by political party.  It does not indicate who each person voted for.  And there are over 14 million registered voters in Florida.  Still, it gives me hope.  

2,076, 621 Republican's have voted to date.

2,440,470 Democrats have voted to date.

*Apprehension
noun

1 he was filled with apprehension: anxiety, worry, unease, nervousness, nerves, misgivings, disquiet, concern, tension, trepidation, perturbation, consternation, angst, dread, alarm, fear, foreboding; informal butterflies, jitters, the willies, the creeps, the shivers, the heebie-jeebies. ANTONYMS confidence.

A Trumpkin

I sure would like to make some of these in other languages.  If you can translate into any other language than Spanish, English, French, or German please send me the translation in a comment below.  Many thanks.  

Preference?

I'm not religious. I know I sound like it sometimes, but that's because I was indoctrinated at an early age, and I often think in religious terms. I was raised Catholic (pre-Vatican II) and I know the mind set, the dogma, the mystical beauty, as well as the disturbing elements of this religion. You might say I am "culturally Catholic."

Amy Coney Barrett, the woman currently undergoing confirmation hearings for RBG's spot on the U.S. Supreme Court, recently referred to LBGTQ as a "sexual preference." If she was really a woman of faith, she would accept that God has created some segment of the population as LGBTQ in all countries all over the world since the dawn of time. It is not a "preference." If there is a God, it is Her will. I'm gonna trust in God's wisdom on this one.

Senator Klobuchar Has Had Enough

I had too much to dream last night

I had a disturbing dream, one wherein I was losing my short term memory.  I guess that must be a concern to me or my unconscious mind wouldn't torment me with it while I slept.  

In the dream I was talking to a friend.  I was supposed to meet Tom afterwards.  I once knew where I was to meet him, but as I talked to my friend a wall went up in my dream mind and I simply couldn't find that memory.  I knew I had to meet him, but I had absolutely no memory of where.  The memory was behind a wall.  

I wonder if that's what it is like to lose short term memory?  The insurmountable wall.  

There are no suckers or losers in the U.S. Military #3 - last one, I promise

 There are no suckers or losers in the U.S. Military.

My 5th great grandfather, Jesse Rector, served as a foot soldier in the Revolutionary War. Jesse and his older brother James both participated in the siege of Yorktown, culminating in Lord Cornwallis' surrender to George Washington on 19 Oct 1781. According to the Yorktown national Historical Park literature, "The American victory at Yorktown, the last major battle of the American Revolution, secured independence for the United States and significantly changed the course of world history

One of his son’s, Isaac Rector, applied for membership in the Sons of the American Revolution based on Jesse’s service. He wrote as follows:

“My knowledge of my father’s service as a soldier in the Revolution is derived from what I have heard him say on the subject. I have often heard him speak of being a soldier in the Revolutionary War. He belonged to a Virginia regiment of militia organized early in 1781 and disbanded soon after the surrender of Cornwallis. He served with his regiment at the siege of Yorktown and was present at the surrender.

I have heard him say when his regiment reached Yorktown our lines were six hundred yards from those of the British, and that before the surrender they were moved up to within three hundred yards. He said that at the latter distance our troops could hear the crashing of the walls of the houses within the town as they were knocked down by our artillery. He said as the British General Cornwallis marched up through Virginia, he gathered up all the good horses he could find. After the surrender our troops found he had many of the horses killed or driven into the river and drowned to prevent them falling into our hands; that the tide washed many of them ashore and that the air was foul with the odor of their decaying carcasses.

He said he saw the British troops march out and stack their arms and spoke of the angry manner in which some of the soldiers put down their guns. He also spoke of the fine music he heard by the bands on the French fleet after the surrender."

--Isaac Rector, 1891

There are no suckers or losers in the U.S. Military #2

My father enlisted in the Navy in 1943. He participated in the Campaign for the Liberation of the Philippines in 1944. His ship was at the second engagement in the Battle of Leyte Gulf. One of the hallmarks of this particular military campaign was the Japanese introduction of kamikaze pilots. Kamikaze is a Japanese word meaning "divine wind" and these suicide pilots sank 17 U.S. ships and damaged 50 more in the battle for Luzon in the Philippines as they flew obsolete planes into American ships, hoping to do considerable damage to the U.S. fleet.

As a machinist, Dad worked below in the ship. He remembered hearing a kamikaze plane hit the ship next to his, which sunk as a result of the attack. He said it was extremely loud and the ship he was on shook so much that he thought it was his ship that had been hit. When he realized it was another ship that was hit, he ran up 3 flights of stairs to see what was happening. Men from the damaged ship were jumping into the water to escape the fire on board. My father volunteered to help rescue them and spent the rest of the day pulling men both living and dead out of the Pacific. One rescued man was burned over 90 percent of his body. Although he did not know the man, Dad volunteered to stay by the man’s side. For three full days and nights he stayed with the stranger, changing his bandages and simply not leaving the man alone with horrible pain. The man died, but not alone.

Fuck you, Donald Trump.

Do you have a story to tell about a brave U.S. military man or woman from your own life? Does it hurt your heart to know our president thinks they were suckers and losers for serving their country? I'd love to read about it. Democrats need to reclaim the moral imperative in the U.S. We have been misunderstood for too long.

There are no suckers or losers in the U.S. Military

 There are no suckers or losers in our military. All should be honored for their service.

This is my Uncle Joe. He served in World War II. He was stationed at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii with what was then known as the Army Air Corps. On 7 Dec 1941, he was walking back to the barracks after attending mass when the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor. The heel of his shoe was hit by flying shrapnel, but Joe was not hurt. After Pearl Harbor, he was assigned to Canton Island, a South Pacific coral island, where he helped to operate one the first radar facilities. Later, he received a transfer to Europe. Joe was a tailgunner, flying bombing missions over Germany. The first week in December 1942, on his 13th mission, the B-17 was shot down over the Black Forest. The crew parachuted to safety. All survived but the pilot. Joe hid in an abandoned farmhouse for 4 or 5 days. He melted snow to drink, and in one of the houses he found one egg, flour and sugar. His feet froze, and he wrapped them in old rags. He decided to try to make it back to the American line. He was dressed up as an old lady, and the Germans spotted him crossing a river. He was captured and imprisoned at Stalag Luft 4 POW Camp Gross Tychow, Germany. He was liberated at the end of the war. Fuck you, Donald Trump.

Uncle Joe with his mother and his youngest brother after he returned from the war.

Down, but not out.

 I'm having a hard time writing blog posts. It's more inability than reluctance. 

I like to write first thing in the morning. However, I also try to exercise (biking, walking) in the morning as well. In the heat of the summer it is imperative to get out there very early, so my early morning creative routine is kind of shot until the Florida heat and humidity subsides.  

I will admit to being "a little" shell shocked of late. It's hard for me to focus. I should relax, ignore the political noise and re-center my self in this beautiful, yes beautiful, world.

Still, that hateful Trump and his evil cohorts try to distract us from beauty and goodness every damn day.  The unrealized poet in me is convinced he is the Devil, the anti-Christ. I am gobsmacked that people who think they are good Christians follow someone like him. In my fevered dreams they follow him straight to Hell.  

My Tennessee Grandmother was my own personal Pentecostal saint. She was known to talk in tongues when the spirit moved her. My Grandma was the personification of goodness, and she worked hard at understanding the difference between good and evil. She would never have voted for Trump. Like Kamala Harris, she knew a predator when she saw one.

Grandma taught me to say "Get behind me, Satan" when I was overwhelmed with worry or distraction. I haven't said that phrase in a long, long time. But I'm saying it today.

I strive for balance

I find myself thinking of my grandmother. She was kind, good, and loving. I want, so much, to be the kind of grandmother to my grandkids (and great-grands) that she was to me. But I have a mean streak. I think it comes from her husband, or maybe her son. They were both troubled souls. I don't want to be like them.  

So I try harder to be good, saving the meanness for those who deserve it. Who knows, perhaps fighting back is a gift? Am I diminished or enhanced by trying to control this darkness? Anger has proven both useful and righteous from time to time.

I know I cannot swallow my anger whole or I would lose my mind. It is important for me to digest it bit by bit. I sing to it until it falls asleep. Then I try to put it to bed without waking it up.