coming out of my shell

coming out of my shell

Sunday, December 27, 2015

Out of my mindfulness

There is a lot of talk these days of living in or experiencing the moment, of being "mindful."  Unfortunately, words are cheapened when we overuse them. Then it takes a really long time before we can use them again with sincerity.  Okay, that phrase in itself sounds like a long buzz-phrase and means almost nothing like what I really meant. Let me try that again: Once a word becomes trendy it takes a long time before I can use it without the word sounding like meaningless crap to me. 

Of course the words themselves continue to mean what they mean. We are the ones who can no longer see or hear a word in its original context once it becomes trite.

For example, consider the first time you heard the phrase “thinking outside of the box.” It is one of those phrases that became over-popular 10-15 years ago in the workplace as a means to get people to re-evaluate a practice, to rethink a concept. The first time I heard it I thought, “That’s brilliant.” Then everyone used it, and used it, and used it.

When it was thrown out yet again by the millionth facilitator at still another focus group or workshop I could no longer even hear the original intention behind the phrase. I was too busy wanting a different facilitator, one who owned a thesaurus. One who thought their own thoughts and used their own words. I wanted to be facilitated by the first person who came up with that phrase.


I guess I am feeling more ornery than usual today; probably because I have been eating too much fruitcake.  And fudge.

But seriously...I find that being “mindful” actually does help alleviate anxiety.  I just need to come up with a new word for it.

25 comments:

  1. What beautiful photo!
    I get that about the overuse of certain phrases. "It is what it is", is one
    that that gives me a second of "or really?" in a most sarcastic
    tone...silently said, of course.
    One that I've been using a lot lately, in my head is, "be in the moment", a
    bite overused but it actually does help me to quit being so melancholy
    about the past and frantic about the future. It does kind of pull me into
    the moment...even if it only last's for a moment, ha!

    PS: I posted this earlier but somehow it got bliped out?

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    1. I monitor my comments so I just hadn't posted it yet. I got both. And yes, being in the moment really is an effective tool for overcoming anxiety. Glad you like the photo. It is a stone step at Tremen State Park in Tompkins County, New York. The steps were built during the Depression to give men work to do. I imagine they were all in the moment, too.

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  2. I hate the phrase "thinking outside of the box" too.

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  3. I have a friend who uses "in the moment" to the exclusion of living. No planning, no retrospective.I wonder what she is escaping.

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  4. The word I hate the most is "closure" when it refers to losing a loved one. If you are human, there is no such thing. We move on and try to cope with the pain, but there will always be sorrow in our hearts.

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    1. You are preaching to the choir with that thought.

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    2. I am glad you brought that one up.

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  5. My mantra has always been 'Be Here Now' - especially when I was raising my very active daughter.
    The one I hate is 'narrative' - why on earth are suddenly all following, expressing, listening or searching for the underlying narrative? What is it?

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    1. It is odd, because the words and intentions still matter. They still work, still resonate if we can step back and remember the meaning behind the cliche. I do want to be mindful - truly. It works on so many important levels. It is something else that drives me nuts - I guess it is the zeal in which people surrender to group think. It is such a joy when a person strives to be unique and to really think an issue out for themselves, with their own words. I think that is why I enjoy reading other people's blogs.

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    2. I have been thinking about what an underlying narrative might be. I can only assume that most people believe they are starring in their own movie.

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  6. My mother used to always say "this too shall pass" while my father preferred "the sun will still rise in the morning." I still bring these to mind when things seem to be going to crap, and they still work for me.

    As for mindfulness, we have a local sports psychologist who teaches "be where your feet are". He uses it in terms of not worrying about past errors or future worries - just be where your own feet are now. I have done a lot of work around PSTD anxiety and staying in the present, and this phrase has helped me stayed anchored.

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    1. I like the phrases your parents used. I find them comforting. They are way beyond "trendy." They are cultural axioms, I think. The fact that they were told to a child by a parent is also somehow important - a positive form of imprinting. A way to help a loved one get through a hard time, while imparting a belief that will stay with them long after the parent is gone. Being loved doesn't get much better than that, does it?

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    2. I also like the earthiness of "be where your feet are." It makes me smile a bit.

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  7. Mindfulness is a watered down version of Transcendental Meditation.

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    1. That's interesting. I will have to do a little research on that one. I never did TM, not because I did not believe in its value, but because I "believed" I was too hyper to meditate.

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  8. I'm just the complete opposite, in order for me to keep focused with my Attention Deficit problem a Word has to 'stick' with me to be a constant reminder... and since I totally function better being 'mindful' just the prompt of that Word to myself can get me back on track of actually BEING how I function best. *Smiles* But I do agree that many words get overused to a point of them losing the impact they should have and initially had. Of coarse Words are so interesting in that when something falls out of 'Trend' then a new Word often replaces it to spark interest again. Perfect example is the word 'Antiques' which died in about the eighties and if you attach that word to anything much anymore nobody is interested... but use 'Vintage' 'Upcycled' 'Repurposed' 'Timeworn' and the same thing can generate a lot more interest... weird but True! Happy New Year from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

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    1. Fun to hear about the replacement words for antique.

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  9. When I was a lot younger it was known as Lateral Thinking; each generation finds its own words. Love your photo.

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  10. Happy New year old bean , hoping 2016 will be a cracker xxxxxxx

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  11. Somehow the phrase, "thinking outside the box" eventually just made the box a little bigger. Maybe we just need to convince ourselves to "live like we mean it" or just be ALIVE!

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  12. "Live like we mean it" is a good one.

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So, whadayathink?